Monthly Archives: October 2008

The Stirrings (snicker).

October 30, 2008
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We’re reading The Giver now. “This book is weird.” “Duh. I told you that before I handed it out. For you guys, if it isn’t weird, it’s ‘boring.’” I was waiting for the, “It’s weird and boring,” but it didn’t come. Phew. Last year was the first year I taught it, and I didn’t even finish it out, because I had a student teacher last year, and she took over after chapter 6 or so. So, this is virgin (snicker) territory for me. It’s kind of fun figuring things out for the first time, and I really like this book. I love blowing their minds. (If you have any groovy ideas or suggestions, I’m all ears, as they used to say.) Related aside: If you have time and the inclination, check out We by Yevgeny Zamyatin. It was supposedly the inspiration for Orwell’s 1984, Vonnegut’s Player Piano, and The Giver. I really enjoyed it. But I’m a sucker for those crazy Russian writers. Tuesday, we had read where Lily was wishing she could be assigned to be a Birthmother. After the sadness that nobody got to be with their “real” parents, the giggles started in about Lily’s vision of the

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Oh, of course!

October 27, 2008
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As we have seen, the seventh grade mind works in mysterious ways. Last week left us pondering seventh grade translations for the euphemism, “vertically challenged.” In addition to the correct response, short, and many silly ones (retarded? stupid?), we also received three sincere, mystery responses: hard, clumsy, and gay. Here are the kids’ explanations: Hard – “Well, if something is vertical, it’s high, so it’s hard to get over. So it’s hard. So, see…” Hmmm. Why do all explanations like this begin with the word well, and have lots of so’s in them? Clumsy – “Well, you know, if you have a hard time staying vertical, you’re clumsy right? Always falling down? Not vertical any more.” This one isn’t bad. I think I gave it to her. Gay – “Well, if you’re not straight…you’re gay, right?” Who am I to argue with logic like that? I asked the girl in the afternoon who had also said gay. She said that was what she was thinking too. Of course. More follow up and suchlike. And some actual talk about the namesake of this blog. We finished The Outsiders. We read chapter 12 together, and there are almost as many tears during

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Let’s Play: Can You Understand a Seventh Grader?

October 23, 2008
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The last one was easy. Let’s really up the ante. We’ll have three rounds. Go! Today we were talking about euphemisms. I’m starting to get them ready to read The Giver. (I’ll be talking soon enough about the end of The Outsiders and starting up the new novel. Dunno how that slipped by.) After explaining and exampling and such, I gave them seven examples to try to translate. The last one was “vertically challenged.” “What do we have for this one?” “Retarded.” “VERTICALLY challenged, not mentally.” “How about, stupid?” “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” (Oh, sweet irony.) “Hard.” 1. OK. For one point, explain her thinking. “What? Ummm…no.” “Midget!” “Closer. A midget could be called vertically challenged, but not vice versa.” “I was thinking clumsy.” 2. For two points, explain that one. “Interesting idea…but no.” “Short!” Woo hoo. Finally. I had watched a “vertically challenged” girl get all excited when she thought she had the answer to this one, and write it down quickly. But we got to “short” before I called on her. After all the nonsense answers I can’t remember, and the finishing up with that one, I noticed she looked a little down. I

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You Gotta Have a Shtick (or a stick).

October 22, 2008
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You Gotta Have a Shtick (or a stick).

One of the things I like to say about teaching junior high is down at the bottom of this page in the footer. You’re too lazy to scroll, aren’t you? Fine. “Five shows a day, 180 days a year.” And there aren’t many crowds tougher than 7th graders. “This is boring.” The worst of all sins. Most of us who teach junior high have a shtick. A role we play, some isms we like to use again and again. Idiosyncrasies we play up for entertainment/attention value (oh the sharing I get when we talk about that word idiosyncrasy during “Monsters are Due on Maple Street“). The key is to make the shtick such a natural part of the classroom routine, that it doesn’t distract too much. Well, sometimes we need the distraction. There’s the Raffle King. There’s the Timer. There are the clickers. The Cage. Mental Floss. Nutty videos. MYOB. All of these are stalwart features of my classroom shtick. And as of a few years ago, there’s also the Quiet Stick. (four or five years ago – me visiting another teacher’s classroom before school) “Leenie! What the shiggy are you doing? Where’d you get this, and WHY ARE YOU

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A First!

October 20, 2008
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This afternoon, I asked my friend and colleague, in his experiences with junior high, how many times he could remember seeing two seventh grade boys hugging. Sincerely. “Like a man-hug, or a real one?” “What’s a man hug?” “You know, you start out with the soul shake, and then you pull in and sorta bump chests, and then the other hand sorta slaps the back.” “Not that kind.” “Ummm. None.” “I knew it. It was a first for me too!” Milk and Cheese, the “True That” boys, were at it again. They were moving their desks closer together (again), like they like to do, and jabbering nonsense. Nothing major, and technically it was before class, but I said, “Well the quarter does end Friday, and I change up the seating chart every quarter, so next week I get to move you guys far, far apart.” One of our recent vocabulary words was crestfallen. I should have taken a picture of them to use as an example. Milk holds out both arms pleadingly (and it if it wasn’t sincere, he should be an actor) and says, “But…But…But… What about The Team?” OMG. The class is dying. Half of them are happy

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A First!

This afternoon, I asked my friend and colleague, in his experiences with junior high, how many times he could remember seeing two seventh grade boys hugging. Sincerely. “Like a man-hug, or a real one?” “What’s a man hug?” “You know, you start out with the soul shake, and then you pull in and sorta bump chests, and then the other hand sorta slaps the back.” “Not that kind.” “Ummm. None.” “I knew it. It was a first for me too!” Milk and Cheese, the “True That” boys, were at it again. They were moving their desks closer together (again), like they like to do, and jabbering nonsense. Nothing major, and technically it was before class, but I said, “Well the quarter does end Friday, and I change up the seating chart every quarter, so next week I get to move you guys far, far apart.” One of our recent vocabulary words was crestfallen. I should have taken a picture of them to use as an example. Milk holds out both arms pleadingly (and it if it wasn’t sincere, he should be an actor) and says, “But…But…But… What about The Team?” OMG. The class is dying. Half of them are happy [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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