Monthly Archives: January 2009

Lines of the Week (Sandwiches and Spanking?)

January 31, 2009
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Just a few choice seventh grade lines, sort of Art Linkletter stylie. From Wednesday’s vocabulary pretest: 1. The sub was slow to realize when something was ____; he thought everything was fine.  a) forlorn  b) amiss  c) apathetic  d) earnest  e) crestfallen Now I’ve used this one before, and I can’t remember anyone not knowing I meant substitute teacher. But this year… “On number one, you mean sandwich, right?” “Sandwich?  What?” “Sub. You mean like sub sandwich?” “Ummm. No.  Substitute. Guest teacher.” (Pounding head on podium.) Now I hear other murmurings: “I thought it was submarine…You know, like they didn’t know it was leaking or something.” From Friday’s Mental Floss: Sid and Nancy were comparing information about their siblings. At one point Sid said, “My older brother was born on the Fourth of July. I remember the day because I was watching the fireworks.”  Nancy immediately knew it was a lie. How did she know? The Mental Floss really frustrates some of them. In a good way. There are some who almost never get any right (there’s no penalty for guessing; it’s all extra credit), but most of them get this one.  Most of them.  “Micah” was waving his arms

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Super Teacher! (Not me.)

January 28, 2009
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Super Teacher! (Not me.)

This one is about teacher behavior rather than student behavior. A colleague of mine this year decided to go for a change, and moved (voluntarily) from teaching 7th and 8th grade math at our site to teaching… SIXTH GRADE! ZOMG! Recess! The continual lining up! Covering all subjects! Feeling the love! Only 22 kids!  But this is not about that. This is about a joke he thought all his new colleagues would find funny. I know I laughed quite heartily.  But they took him seriously, when he spoke to them about… Super Teacher. I just came across the pics, as I was searching for something else, and well, I just had to share. Every year, at his new school, the sixth grade classes take a trip to Yosemite for several days. There is evidently an outdoor school there that caters to trips like this, and kids from all over California come for the program. My friend “Joey” was one of two teachers from his school who went. I guess the program handled most of keeping the kids busy, so the teachers (there were a bunch from the California central valley too) had some time on their hands. Joey and his

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Mailbag: Hovercraft? What hovercraft? (Also, Dr. Seuss)

January 27, 2009
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Yesterday I received an e-mail that took me awhile to cipher. Dear Mr. Coward, Recently I have been thinking about making a hovercraft and wanted to be able to propel it in directions unlike the ones I’ve seen on the Internet. Those ones can’t propel in certain directions, but yours I saw was able to. However, the instructions were not as self-explanatory as you may have thought it was. I wanted to build what was on the site and modify it to make my own hovercraft. Please reply to me with this email address and help me understand certain parts of your instructions. Thank you. After more than 11 years on the net, my various websites contain well over 30,000 pages. I’ve had many, many e-mails over the years, asking all sorts of questions. But this one was a first. Hovercraft? Directions? When did I teach hovercraft building? Or is this some new sort of Spam e-mail looking for gullible hovercraft fans? What page was she looking at? Was this meant for another Mr. Coward? An hour or so of mulling (as well as some furious clicking) brought me to the answer. Through the wondrous power of Google, this budding hovercraft

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Still Here Blogging… (Wiki Wiki)

January 23, 2009
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It’s been a weird week. We had Monday off for MLK. I was on call for jury duty on Tuesday, so I had a sub (sorry, they’re called guest teachers @ Laguna). To make it easy, I had the guest teacher administer the “District Benchmark Exam Part II,” the results of which I’m not sure what to do with. Mostly our English department has been ignoring them, saying the tests don’t really test what they claim to. Also, everyone covers the various standards at various times throughout the year – I don’t do a research paper until the spring, so we haven’t talked much about citing sources – so the idea of testing standards a-g in the beginning of the year, and standards h-m during the middle part, and so forth, just doesn’t work very well. Plus, why do I need to waste three class periods from my precious allotment giving yet another test? Anyway, I had the guest teacher give them the test, and I’ll figure out what to do with the results later. Then we were in the computer lab on Wednesday, to work on the Tom Sawyer Moodle. This is the main reason I’ve been lagging on

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Out-to-Lunch Middle Schoolers Say the Darnedest Things

January 18, 2009
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This past week just disappeared on me. I’ve been spending my time monitoring the Tom Sawyer Moodle Experiment, and thinking of ways to expand and build on it (it’s working beauty so far). I also need to figure out the accountability angle; all my grade grubbers are wondering how they’re going to get their extra credit, and some are already trying to pad their stats by furious posting of questions and answers. They hope that I’m grading on quantity. The next post will talk more about all that, but I want to post some stuff before I forget. This was a week full of funny lines from the li’l darlings. These are the kind of things I forget to remember (as my seventh graders say) over the years, so now with this blog thing, I can “remember to remember.” Yes, that was an actual line from one of them. This week’s gems: *After I “rebuke” someone in the cafeteria for not picking up his trash– “No matter how much you yell, Mr. Coward, you’re my favorite teacher, even if it’s at me. The yelling I mean. You know.” *After I use the following sentence in a warm up, The employees

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Random Featured Post

“There’s already something on the back of mine.” (Also: Racial Harmony.)

It was our first day back in the classroom after 8 days in the library. We were all glad to be back. “Oh, my clicker…how I’ve missed you.” One of them actually said that. OMG. What a day. Full of action, and laugh after laugh. First there was the video. YouTube is blocked in our district. Our head of IST keeps bleating about CIPA and how YouTube doesn’t filter, and…anyway, we can’t use YouTube. But finally, they created a workaround for us. We have to do things from home rather than from school, but it works OK. We find the YouTube video we want to use, and copy the URL. Then we go to the district’s “safe video portal” and paste it in. Then we can approve our own video, and use the safe portal to show it at school. It’s a bit clunky, but it works fine. Yesterday I added a video. I hadn’t even showed it yet, when I got an e-mail from my principal. I have only added a couple of videos before, but both of them were of the nutty variety, rather than the “educational” sort.  One of them is near the top of the most [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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Recent Comments

  • mrC commented on It’s Go Time!@Sarah-Most excellent! Keep up the good work, and don't let any of them talk you out of it. Glad to hear your kids recognize the value too. Fight the good fight!
  • Mrs. M~ commented on Illin’Feel better soon! There is nothing worse than being at school and trying to be "on" when you feel like death.
  • Sarah commented on It’s Go Time!I just came across your blog...I am a second year teacher and I am currently reading The Outsiders aloud to my seventh graders. I read it to them last year, too. I catch a lot of criticism for reading it to them...but they LOVE to have me read to them. I actually had a group
  • joan commented on Illin’I'm on day two of out-with-the-crud. I needed the rest. Hope you're in tip top shape by Monday!
  • mrC commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”That one oughta be strung up like they used to do to horse thieves.
  • Heather commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”The last sub I had left no note at all and broke the arm of my spinny chair by leaning back in it so far that he fell in the floor. The kids all said he was the best sub ever. I politely asked the school secretary to never have him sub in
  • mrC commented on The Future of Space Travel@Heather: Gawd I hate that. I think I even posted about it awhile back. @Kelli: This reminds me of high school. I went to a Jesuit high school (all boys) and for our Friday football rallies, we would import cheerleaders from other schools to be a part of the rally. And the girls would always begin
  • Heather commented on The Future of Space TravelMy eighth graders just have the habit of prefacing every question with, "I have a question." And announcing "I'm done" when they complete an assignment.
  • Kelli commented on The Future of Space TravelIs it bad that I sometimes start my stories with "Okay, so...."...? I guess the kids have rubbed off on me. Sigh.
  • Kelli commented on Blogging the Scoring Session (Part I)Ugh! Been there. I have been to those "Scoring and Rubric" type meetings in two different states now... Not fun, and not entirely informative, either.
  • Meg commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)There was a district I student taught in that hand the no fail policy. I child could not be held back a grade, even if they did absolutely nothing the whole year, until they were in high school. It took most of the middle schoolers about 3 seconds to realize they didn't have
  • Kelli commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)You know, that whole "no-zero" policy goes hand-in-hand with the "no-failure" or "no-retention" policy, and my school district is a definite contributor to this madness. I can understand the desire to stop giving zeros and MAKE the kids do the work (giving countless opportunities until successful), but I have been in a situation where
  • commented on Obligatory Santa VideoWe have an unofficial "no zero" policy. It takes a little extra effort on the teacher's part to get all of the students to complete their assignments but we have made it work. The thing that was most helpful was instituting a "homework detention" that is separate from discipline detention. If a