Monthly Archives: March 2009

Alternative Careers (Pink Friday Special)

March 13, 2009
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Even if you teach somewhere other than California, no doubt you’ve heard of the atrocity that is our state budget. If you teach in California, and you aren’t a 30+ year veteran, and/or you don’t teach in one of a handful of basic aid districts, you’re probably facing a pink slip. Today we were wearing pink to show solidarity and support. I forgot to wear my pink shirt, but the union had given us pink plastic ribbons (made out of the stuff they use to warn you about rebar sticking up), and I went Karate Kid stylie, wearing it as a headband. I was doing “wax on, wax off” all day. (And telling them that the Karate Kid was played by the same guy who played Johnny in the Outsiders movie.) Also explaining things like how 250/550 teachers in the district just south of here received notice today. Being Friday/Test Day, it’s also Doodle Theme Day. So in keeping with the spirit of Pink Friday, the theme today was: What if Mr. Coward got the axe? Show him in an alternative career. Boy howdy, judging from from some of the responses, if I ever do get pink slipped, I’m in

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Three-Word Phrases

March 12, 2009
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Three-Word Phrases

Seventh graders “communicate” mostly in three-word phrases. If the phrase isn’t really only three words long, they can usually pare it down. “What’d I miss?” It sounds like  “Wuddeyemiss.” And it always comes right as you’re starting class. Raise your hand if you have had this happen in the past week. Past three days? Today? AAAAAARGH.  They want 54 stellar, well-planned and executed minutes of instruction summarized for them in 30 seconds as the class bustles in.  What did you miss? “Absolutely nothing. You might as well take the rest of the year off. CHECK THE WEB PAGE! COME BACK AT BREAK!” “Oh yeah. I forgot.” LOL (These days, they’re getting it down to three-letter phrases.) “What’s my grade?” This one is usually from the kid whose grade is in the bottom 15% , and s/he finally turned something in, and wants immediate gratification. And it always happens right in the middle of something else, something totally unrelated.  Yesterday we were talking about how Charlotte is finally seeing Captain Jaggery for what he really is. (Aside: If you haven’t read The True Adventures of Charlotte Doyle by Avi, I highly recommend it. I picked it up a few years ago

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Oblivious

March 6, 2009
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They call it a teachable moment. One of the arts of teaching is recognizing and taking advantage of opportunities that happen spontaneously. Opportunities where a combination of what you said, how you said it, which class you’re in, and how they reacted to what you said, combines for that golden moment where you can get them to get it. When it happens it’s a beautiful thing. Even if the kid that provided that moment for the rest of the class doesn’t realize it. One of the warm up questions today was: discreet : rash :: oblivious : _________ a) subordinate  b) breach  c) sardonic  d) rash  e) vigilant I couldn’t remember whether oblivious was ever an official vocabulary word, so I said, “Now everyone’s clear on what oblivious means, right? Discreet was a vocab. word, and we worked it. This one is different from discrete, which means separate. And rash is on this week’s list; I’m not helping.  So, we all know what oblivious means – out to lunch, not aware of what’s going on around you; sort of like this class is a lot of the time…” General laughter all ’round at the usual gag. They all go back

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Insert the G.

March 3, 2009
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Insert the G.

We finally finished Tom Sawyer. Some of them just gave up on me. Some of them realized it got easier as they went along. Some of them actually enjoyed it. But ALL of them had fun during one of our last discussions of the book; it’s chapter 33, where Tom and Huck go back to the cave for the money. Throughout the novel we talk about how Tom, when he plays, always has to “go by the book.” Or to use one of this week’s academic words, Tom always follows protocol. He climbs the fence, instead of running through the gate, after pelting Sid with dirt clods for ratting him out about the thread. He won’t “die” when Joe runs him through in their sword fight, because Tom’s playing Robin Hood, and he can’t die. He goes over the cliff with the ham, instead of using the trail, when they run away to the island, because that’s what a pirate would do. And he does it again in chapter 33. The bonus question on the quiz that day was… “*Bonus: There is an example of Tom “going by the book” in chapter 33 which he would probably be very embarrassed

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Mr. Coward’s Snappy Answers to Questions They Should Already Know the Answers To.

March 1, 2009
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Mr. Coward’s Snappy Answers to Questions They Should Already Know the Answers To.

And yes, I know I ended the above with a preposition, and this sentence began with a conjunction, but we’re English teachers; we get to break the rules. For some reason, lately I’ve been thinking about that old Mad magazine feature by Al Jaffee called, ” Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.” My favorite one was where there’s a guy smoking a cigarette under a no smoking sign, blithely asking, “Do you mind if I smoke?”  The first snappy answer was, “Why, are you on fire?” Just thinking about that one still cracks me up. They are still running that feature more than 40 years later, and with good reason. Today’s post pays homage to this venerated art form. Of course, you can’t be quite as biting and mean with 7th graders as you can be with smokers polluting your personal bubble. However, after hearing and answering the same questions time after time, one does tend to get a bit snappy. “What if I don’t have a pencil?” -Not my problem. -There’s a pencil machine over there. (There really is.) -You can rent one from the Popple Mafia for .25, or ask one of these nice people to lend you one.

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Random Featured Post

Quizzes for Dummies?

A few years ago, while we were reading Outsiders aloud, I was about to give them my usual “reading check” type quiz to make sure they were following along, thinking about what we’d talked about, connecting the literary terms to the examples in the book, etc. I can’t quite remember what my inspiration was (probably just to throw them for a loop like I like to do), but I decided to let them “cheat.” My quizzes on the books and stories we read are always open book, but this time I told them they could take the quiz, not only open book, but “open mouth.” I told them they could talk about the questions and answers as much as they want in any way they want, and decide however they want to, which of the answers to choose. “You can share what you know…or not. You can decide whether to heed the wisdom of the group…or not. You just can’t lie. You can’t knowingly tell everyone the wrong answer on purpose.” One class that day came up with the name Quiz for Dummies. The rest of the periods thought that was a little “mean,” so we’ve stuck with Open Mouth. [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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Recent Comments

  • mrC commented on It’s Go Time!@Sarah-Most excellent! Keep up the good work, and don't let any of them talk you out of it. Glad to hear your kids recognize the value too. Fight the good fight!
  • Mrs. M~ commented on Illin’Feel better soon! There is nothing worse than being at school and trying to be "on" when you feel like death.
  • Sarah commented on It’s Go Time!I just came across your blog...I am a second year teacher and I am currently reading The Outsiders aloud to my seventh graders. I read it to them last year, too. I catch a lot of criticism for reading it to them...but they LOVE to have me read to them. I actually had a group
  • joan commented on Illin’I'm on day two of out-with-the-crud. I needed the rest. Hope you're in tip top shape by Monday!
  • mrC commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”That one oughta be strung up like they used to do to horse thieves.
  • Heather commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”The last sub I had left no note at all and broke the arm of my spinny chair by leaning back in it so far that he fell in the floor. The kids all said he was the best sub ever. I politely asked the school secretary to never have him sub in
  • mrC commented on The Future of Space Travel@Heather: Gawd I hate that. I think I even posted about it awhile back. @Kelli: This reminds me of high school. I went to a Jesuit high school (all boys) and for our Friday football rallies, we would import cheerleaders from other schools to be a part of the rally. And the girls would always begin
  • Heather commented on The Future of Space TravelMy eighth graders just have the habit of prefacing every question with, "I have a question." And announcing "I'm done" when they complete an assignment.
  • Kelli commented on The Future of Space TravelIs it bad that I sometimes start my stories with "Okay, so...."...? I guess the kids have rubbed off on me. Sigh.
  • Kelli commented on Blogging the Scoring Session (Part I)Ugh! Been there. I have been to those "Scoring and Rubric" type meetings in two different states now... Not fun, and not entirely informative, either.
  • Meg commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)There was a district I student taught in that hand the no fail policy. I child could not be held back a grade, even if they did absolutely nothing the whole year, until they were in high school. It took most of the middle schoolers about 3 seconds to realize they didn't have
  • Kelli commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)You know, that whole "no-zero" policy goes hand-in-hand with the "no-failure" or "no-retention" policy, and my school district is a definite contributor to this madness. I can understand the desire to stop giving zeros and MAKE the kids do the work (giving countless opportunities until successful), but I have been in a situation where
  • commented on Obligatory Santa VideoWe have an unofficial "no zero" policy. It takes a little extra effort on the teacher's part to get all of the students to complete their assignments but we have made it work. The thing that was most helpful was instituting a "homework detention" that is separate from discipline detention. If a

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