I’m well over 100 posts now. If this were a tv show, I ‘d be syndicated, and you’d be seeing reruns at 10:30 after the Seinfeld reruns. I’ve only done one repeat so far, but today we started talking about the writing technique called Show not Tell. I always like to start the year teaching them this one, because it makes their writing much more interesting to read for the rest of the year. Last year’s entry (9/22/08) about this says most of what I have to say, but I’ll come back at the end to add a couple of things. Here we go, from last September, with… “Don’t tell us the old lady screamed…” “…Bring her on, and let her scream.” -Mark Twain. For most middle schoolers, one of the biggest problems they have with writing is being specific. Everything is weird or cool or disgusting or fun. Especially weird or disgusting. There are no details, just general opinions. (Oh how seventh graders love to give unsolicited opinions…) I like to start the year introducing them to the idea of Show not Tell. The first assignment is always to “show” me the messiest, most disgusting room possible…without using any
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Every year we teachers always get warnings or promises from our colleagues who teach in the grades below us. “OMG! Wait until you get a load of the bunch of sixth graders heading up there next year. You better have your whip and your chair ready.” Or, “This group we’re sending you are so self-sufficient, they barely need teaching.” Uh huh. At least around these parts, these reports are almost always wrong. So far, the most I’ve had to do to restore order is pick up the Quiet Stick. I didn’t even have to wave it, or point animatedly at it, or God forbid, actually wield it. One detention for no notebook, served meekly and remorsefully. I say, “Quiet you!” to an overzealous “contributor,” and the class laughs and the kid is quiet. OMG. (Bonus points if you can name where/who I stole that line from.) Things are much too quiet. I had more action out of the parents at BTSN than I’ve had so far from the kids. Even my servants student assistants are eerily quiet. I’ve NEVER had that happen before. Whether solo or in pairs, my student assistants usually jabber and jabber; at me, at each other,
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Back-to-School Night. Again. As the kids like to say (sarcastically), “Ah, good times.” 1. Intro and parade wave to the crowd in the MultiPurpose Room. 2. Principal saying that (s)he is releasing us early to let us get ready. Why the group appearance? I don’t get it. They’re going to see us in 10 minutes. 3. Early birds dogging you beforehand. 4. People forgetting (or ignoring) the rule about no individual chats about YOUR child. 5. People forgetting (or ignoring) the rule about leaving the students at home. Too many trade secrets get out that way. 6. The glasses speech. Every year I catch several kids who need glasses, but have been claiming they don’t for months. I already got three this year. I tell the kids: “If my 47 (and change) year-old eyes can see that, and you can’t; you need glasses.” I tell the parents: “If your students come home and say Mr. Coward was mean and said they need glasses, they do.” 7. The three-word phrase shtick. I remembered a new one this year, Not my fault. A classic right up there with “It’s not fair.” Nice lead-in for the… 8. The you’ve-already-done-seventh grade speech. Make the
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This afternoon, I asked my friend and colleague, in his experiences with junior high, how many times he could remember seeing two seventh grade boys hugging. Sincerely. “Like a man-hug, or a real one?” “What’s a man hug?” “You know, you start out with the soul shake, and then you pull in and sorta bump chests, and then the other hand sorta slaps the back.” “Not that kind.” “Ummm. None.” “I knew it. It was a first for me too!” Milk and Cheese, the “True That” boys, were at it again. They were moving their desks closer together (again), like they like to do, and jabbering nonsense. Nothing major, and technically it was before class, but I said, “Well the quarter does end Friday, and I change up the seating chart every quarter, so next week I get to move you guys far, far apart.” One of our recent vocabulary words was crestfallen. I should have taken a picture of them to use as an example. Milk holds out both arms pleadingly (and it if it wasn’t sincere, he should be an actor) and says, “But…But…But… What about The Team?” OMG. The class is dying. Half of them are happy [...]
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That reminds me of those great SNL skits about the Sofa King. You know, how the prices are "Sofa King" low, the deals are "Sofa King" great, etc. (You obviously have to say those phrases out loud to get the joke.)