Monthly Archives: November 2009

Snow?

November 30, 2009
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I’m not dead yet. It’s just been a bit busy ’round these parts lately. And I’ve been sleeping in for five days, so I’m still a little dopey. Even most of the kids were quiet today; they looked sort of tattered. “Where’s all the left-over pie I asked for?” “Everybody in my family went eeewww when I asked about rhubarb pie.” (Almost none of the kids knew what I was talking about last week when I asked for rhubarb pie. Did you know that rhubarb leaves are poisonous?) “I see how it is. I’ll settle for pecan.” On the last day before vacation we finally had time to finish the video of “The Monsters are due on Maple Street.” They really like the groovy old cars (Steve has a brand new 1960 Ford station wagon) and the old-school ice-cream man. They also crack up that somebody besides me says, no dice. When Les Goodman first tries to start his car, and Woman 1 asks him if he had any luck getting it started, and he yells, “No dice.” In every class, the kids yelled at the screen (a la Rocky Horror), “Cheese Slice!” “We went to my grampa’s for Thanksgiving,

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“You may lie.” (Also: MadLib)

November 24, 2009
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We’re up through chapter 9 of The Giver. And I think I have most of them buying in pretty well. The ones that haven’t read it before (dagnabbit, you dagnab  6th grade teachers who “steal” books), are actually asking questions and not just trying to sneak spoilers into the discussion, so that means I turned them on to something new. The ones that haven’t read it are suitably weirded out and eager to find out more. Since it’s a short “week” (we get Wednesday off too), we didn’t have our usual spelling or academic words pretest today, there’s barely any homework to explain or whine about, and no pink sheet to preview. “Is there a test this week?” “It’s tomorrow, and it’s worth double.” “What?” “C’mon, (to quote Steve in “Monsters are Due on Maple Street”) would someone think a thought around here? What would the test be on? We have the usual reading quiz on the two chapters you’re reading tonight, but that’s about it.” So we had time for a little MadLib action. I like using MadLibs for parts-of-speech review. I like to tell the kids that one of the reasons we work on PoS so much is

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Parental Units

November 19, 2009
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Remember the Coneheads? From the old Saturday Night Live when John Belushi was still alive? I have referred to my parents (and all parents) as “parental units” (PU’s) ever since 1977. Dad is PPU – Paternal Parental Unit, and Mom is MPU. Other expressions I still use which I stole from the Coneheads include: family unit, consume mass quantities, and proceed human. Obviously, that’s where Lois Lowry got the expression “family unit.” The other day, in my girls’ club class (20 girls/7 boys), we were laughing about that expression; family unit. I mentioned that I, even today, call my parents my PU’s. Haha and so forth. So today, one girl raises her hand during our Giver Q/A session and says that she told her parents over dinner about our discussion that day. I guess her little sister (I think she said she was four, but I’ll get back to you on that) really liked the sound of “parental units.” “And now that’s all she’ll call my mom and dad; parental units.” “That’s so great.” “Well, the problem is that once she gets a phrase or something like that stuck in her head, she’s like addicted to it. And she’ll keep

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The “Stirrings” (Again)

November 18, 2009
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It is sooo much fun making 7th graders uncomfortable and embarrassed. Is that mean? When the kids accuse me of being mean I tell them I get paid extra for being that way. “The meaner I am, the fatter the paycheck.” “Nuh uh!” I didn’t think kids said that any more. But I don’t think making them say “eew” or “gross” or making them do the uncomfortable/embarrassed squirm instead of the I’m-so-hyper-I-can’t-cope squirm is being mean. Besides, when you have 7th graders reading chapter 5 of The Giver, well now you have what the military calls a “target rich environment.” This year’s bunch was kind of cute about it, actually. After the previous night’s reading assignment, I hold a Q and A session before the reading quiz. I tell them I will answer any and all questions they have about whatever they don’t get. “I don’t get it,” is not a question. I also won’t answer, “What happened in chapter __?” Sometimes the sessions get a little free-wheeling, and each one takes on the characteristics of that class period. But this year, more than the past couple of years I have taught this book, there were waaay more kids with

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Virtual Mailbag: Yes, I do.

November 14, 2009
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Over there in the comments, Christine (thanks for the nice words) asks if I really read the whole of The Outsiders to the kids. Ummm, yeah. That’s sort of one of my shticks. Well, more like a hook. As in the fishing metaphor. The Outsiders is the hook I use to draw reluctant 7th graders into English and reading and actual discussions and such, and make them like it. In 16 years of teaching this book, I have yet to meet a 7th grader who doesn’t love it. But if you give it to them and let them go on their own, they will devour it in hours, and while they will still love it, they will miss two-thirds of what the book has to offer. And if you do the whole “popcorn” reading thing…well, no offense, but let me just say that I HATE THAT! The kids have to hear the rhythms and the feel of the dialogue and the writing, and I think one of the big problems kids have with reading comprehension is that many of them read so slowly that they lose the overall meaning. (More on this later.)  So unless you have a class full

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Random Featured Post

Three-Word Phrases

Seventh graders “communicate” mostly in three-word phrases. If the phrase isn’t really only three words long, they can usually pare it down. “What’d I miss?” It sounds like  “Wuddeyemiss.” And it always comes right as you’re starting class. Raise your hand if you have had this happen in the past week. Past three days? Today? AAAAAARGH.  They want 54 stellar, well-planned and executed minutes of instruction summarized for them in 30 seconds as the class bustles in.  What did you miss? “Absolutely nothing. You might as well take the rest of the year off. CHECK THE WEB PAGE! COME BACK AT BREAK!” “Oh yeah. I forgot.” LOL (These days, they’re getting it down to three-letter phrases.) “What’s my grade?” This one is usually from the kid whose grade is in the bottom 15% , and s/he finally turned something in, and wants immediate gratification. And it always happens right in the middle of something else, something totally unrelated.  Yesterday we were talking about how Charlotte is finally seeing Captain Jaggery for what he really is. (Aside: If you haven’t read The True Adventures of Charlotte Doyle by Avi, I highly recommend it. I picked it up a few years ago [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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