Monthly Archives: March 2010

Soundz!

March 12, 2010
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In the previous post, I touted the beauty of The Timer and havoc one might wreak with it upon the psyches of sensitive seventh graders. This is just a quick update to that. The link at the end of this post will take you to a directory with my stash of timer sounds. You can go find your own on the net — look for .wav files — but here are some to get you started. Tips: Change the sounds at random intervals. (Read the Read Me file for how to. It’s easy.) Surreptitiously crank up the volume after the start sound, so that the alarm sound has maximum impact (sometimes literally). Try to be talking just before the time runs out, so that they are distracted when it does. Then casually finish your sentence after they scream. Say, “I never get tired of that,” after they fall out of their desks. (at the start) Say, “The clock’s running; your mouth shouldn’t be.” Say, “Excuse me, must be that breakfast burrito,” after the raspberry sound. After time expires, but before you reset, if you click go you get the start and alarm sounds back-to-back. Kinda fun if you choose your

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The Timer Redux

March 10, 2010
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The Timer Redux

This one isn’t exactly a rerun per se…let’s call it more of a rewrite… This year’s crew has been a bit more, shall we say, trying, than any in recent memory. They’re nice enough for seventh graders and all, but they are really frying my bacon this year. So I have to get my kicks where I can…to sort of…take the edge off. I devoted a short post to THE TIMER (AKA: THE CLOCK) way back when this whole blog thang started in ’08, but lately The Timer has been enjoying a bit of a renaissance, so I thought I’d share the wealth again. Several years ago I started noticing that the incoming seventh graders were very used to getting as much time as they needed to finish warm ups and quizzes and such. The idea of a timed test or quiz was completely alien to them. I couldn’t cope. At the time, I was using a Gateway Destination setup with a 32″ inch monitor and some fine speakers, so I went searching for a little countdown clock I could put in the corner of the screen to start training these kids to work with/against the clock. “How much time

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Integral

March 8, 2010
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Integral

We were going over this week’s academic words pretest today, and when we got to the word integral, I was searching for a way to differentiate it from inherent, which is another word this week. “Inherent is sort of like ‘built-in,’ part of the …being of something. Like…you were all born inherently good, unless there was something wrong with your wiring…” “Like me!” A chorus. Sigh. “Anyway. Integral is more like ‘part of the structure’ of something. Without that integral thing, it doesn’t work. Like…without your skeleton, you’re just a big blob of Jell-O goo…” “Eewwww.” (Check out the Ray Bradbury story “Skeleton.” Talk about ewww.) “What. Ever. Your skeleton is integral to your body. Without it, you don’t really have a body. Integral is also where the word integrity comes from. That ShmartBoard might be nice but, it isn’t integral to this class. We could still have an effective class without it.” “So what is integral for you in this class?” “Excellent question, that. Let’s see. Back in the day, when I started here, I didn’t have a computer…Wait, my wife had that old Mac SE over there… 10 inch greyscale screen, Microsoft Word 2.0, and a printer…I think

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Staff Development for the Passive Aggressive

March 4, 2010
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(Warning: Lots of scare quotes ahead.) I hate being out of my classroom for “in-services,” “trainings,” “workshops,” or “classes,” especially the district mandated/sponsored ones. You know the kind, where they read powerpoint slides to you, you do “jigsaw” activities (gawd, I hate those), share with your 3 o’clock partner, and get a bunch of handouts that end up doodled all over and chucked onto the giant pile next to your desk to be forgotten for two months, when you’re supposed to have done something with those papers for a “follow-up session.”  And not a lick of it makes it into the classroom or helps your teaching. This is not to say that I haven’t been to a few effective workshops. But usually these end up being useful not for the “activities” we did, but for the ideas and examples of the presenter. Kate Kinsella comes to mind. If she’s giving the workshop on teaching writing, go to it. I’ve stolen all sorts of stuff from her. However, my experience with the standard, district-issued workshops is that the cost/benefit analysis usually doesn’t come out in favor of  attending. The ones they’ve been pushing lately, about EL techniques and such, have seemed especially forced;

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No, You’re Not.

March 1, 2010
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Whereas the kids tend to have their stock three-word phrases, I have more of a four-word phrase arsenal. Here’s a sampling off the top the head. “No doubt, rainbow trout.” (Yes. Or “Indubitably” as the Lollys say it.) “No dice, cheese slice.”  (No.) “Let the King decide.” (When I want to give them the illusion of choice.) “Glad I’m not you.” (A Nelson Muntz stylie ha ha.) “Then you woke up.” (A NO! that should be obvious.) “Don’t penetrate the bubble.”  (“Don’t stand so close to me.”) “Spit out the gum.” (“How can you spot that so well?” “I just look for the ones that look like cows.”) “Show me the KBARR.” (Or vocabulary or book or warmup or…) “Read, Trackword, doodle, nap.” (What they can do if they’re done with the test early.) “Please pay the Popple.” ( For dropping a clicker or forgetting a book or renting a pencil.) “Join me at break.” (Detention.) “Why’re you still talking?” (Ummmm. Shut up. Now.) “This isn’t a democracy.” (Duh. This one is especially appropriate lately, with us reading Charlotte Doyle. I think Jaggery even uses that line, or words to that effect.) “While we are young.” (Too late for some

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Random Featured Post

Oh Raffle King, Oh Raffle King…

(Sung — way off key, and sort of warbley — to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree.”) I guess we need to talk about the King. On Wednesdays, after we go over the vocabulary homework, and discuss the words, I give them a vocabulary pretest. If they ace it (100%), they are exempt from the vocabulary portion of the Friday test. I used to have one of them flip a coin to decide whether or not I let them use their “cheat sheet” — the homework page we just went over and corrected — on the pretest. What they don’t believe when I tell them — even though it’s true — is that, on average, their scores on the pretest are lower when they use the cheat sheets, and fewer of them get an exemption. But they like to think it’s a security blanket, so I play along. Then I discovered the King. I would give you the URL of his creator’s web site, but he has some other, shall we say, inappropriate shtuff. (You can do a Google search if you really want to check it out.) So I took the liberty of “cloning” the King. If you click [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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Recent Comments

  • mrC commented on It’s Go Time!@Sarah-Most excellent! Keep up the good work, and don't let any of them talk you out of it. Glad to hear your kids recognize the value too. Fight the good fight!
  • Mrs. M~ commented on Illin’Feel better soon! There is nothing worse than being at school and trying to be "on" when you feel like death.
  • Sarah commented on It’s Go Time!I just came across your blog...I am a second year teacher and I am currently reading The Outsiders aloud to my seventh graders. I read it to them last year, too. I catch a lot of criticism for reading it to them...but they LOVE to have me read to them. I actually had a group
  • joan commented on Illin’I'm on day two of out-with-the-crud. I needed the rest. Hope you're in tip top shape by Monday!
  • mrC commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”That one oughta be strung up like they used to do to horse thieves.
  • Heather commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”The last sub I had left no note at all and broke the arm of my spinny chair by leaning back in it so far that he fell in the floor. The kids all said he was the best sub ever. I politely asked the school secretary to never have him sub in
  • mrC commented on The Future of Space Travel@Heather: Gawd I hate that. I think I even posted about it awhile back. @Kelli: This reminds me of high school. I went to a Jesuit high school (all boys) and for our Friday football rallies, we would import cheerleaders from other schools to be a part of the rally. And the girls would always begin
  • Heather commented on The Future of Space TravelMy eighth graders just have the habit of prefacing every question with, "I have a question." And announcing "I'm done" when they complete an assignment.
  • Kelli commented on The Future of Space TravelIs it bad that I sometimes start my stories with "Okay, so...."...? I guess the kids have rubbed off on me. Sigh.
  • Kelli commented on Blogging the Scoring Session (Part I)Ugh! Been there. I have been to those "Scoring and Rubric" type meetings in two different states now... Not fun, and not entirely informative, either.
  • Meg commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)There was a district I student taught in that hand the no fail policy. I child could not be held back a grade, even if they did absolutely nothing the whole year, until they were in high school. It took most of the middle schoolers about 3 seconds to realize they didn't have
  • Kelli commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)You know, that whole "no-zero" policy goes hand-in-hand with the "no-failure" or "no-retention" policy, and my school district is a definite contributor to this madness. I can understand the desire to stop giving zeros and MAKE the kids do the work (giving countless opportunities until successful), but I have been in a situation where
  • commented on Obligatory Santa VideoWe have an unofficial "no zero" policy. It takes a little extra effort on the teacher's part to get all of the students to complete their assignments but we have made it work. The thing that was most helpful was instituting a "homework detention" that is separate from discipline detention. If a

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