Monthly Archives: June 2010

OH NOOOOOO! (Part I)

June 14, 2010
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It’s never good news when your principal, as you’re rolling for home, says, “Can I get 5 minutes with you tomorrow morning…(wait a beat and a half)… about a scheduling issue?” (silently) What do you need me for? Scheduling is part of  the counselors’ job…hmmmm. (aloud) “No worries. See you tomorrow.” One of my favorite lines from my favorite movie, The Jerk, is when the repo guys are taking away all the furniture and such after Navin Johnson (Steve Martin) goes broke again. His wife, played by Bernadette Peters, is crying, and Navin tries to comfort her by telling her it’s just money, and they’re still in love, and etc. She says, crying, “It’s not losing all the money…It’s losing all the STUFF!” Well, my line at the meeting with my principal the next morning was, “It’s not teaching the eighth grade…It’s teaching the EIGHTH GRADERS!” Yes, after a 6 year reprieve, I will be having at least one period of eighth grade in the fall. Our incoming enrollment is down, so we have a lot more 8th graders than 7th graders next year. D’oh. It might actually be kind of fun; new novels to get into: Nothing But the

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Wish I had at least one this year…

June 9, 2010
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No, I’m not dead yet. Though they are slowly killing me this year. I haven’t posted much lately because: 1. The kids turned in their research papers last week. I have turn-in timed every year, so that if I read about 12 per day, I finish the day before the last day. This year it’s going a bit more slowly; I think due to the dearth of original topics. It’s been like this…Global Warming, Global Warming, Titanic, Titanic, Global Warming, Holocaust, Titanic, Titanic, Titanic, Global Warming, Ufo’s, Global Warming. Repeat. I was stoked when I got “The Impact of Herbicides in the Vietnam War” and “How Realistic are Shows Like CSI?” 2. My TV died, and I’ve been trying to fix it. I don’t miss the programming so much; it’s summer, which means mostly reruns, and there’s always Hulu. But I am sorely missing my Wii Pinball Hall of Fame (Williams Edition). When I’m in Vegas in two weeks, my boy and I are going to spend a whole day at the Pinball Hall of Fame. 152 machines! Anyway, it’s a big 60 something inch monster that I think I can fix for a few bucks. Wish me luck. 3.

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The Five Stages of Grief (in 30 seconds)

June 1, 2010
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Middle schoolers are like drama queens with Alzheimer’s. “ZOMG, the world’s going to end if I (don’t)… (the next day/period) “Are you OK? You were pretty upset.” “What?” Every “crisis” is like a terminal illness or an impending death. Whether that crisis is personal or school related, or simply a perceived rather than actual crisis, the reaction usually follows the classic five stages of grief pattern. And most of the time, they can squeeze it all in in less than 30 seconds (Aside: I was just reading that many researchers say that the whole stages of grief thing is a myth, that the research doesn’t prove it out. Well, that doesn’t make a very good story, now does it?) I could take an example from almost any day, but right now we have a perfect one being played out nicely. Today was their first attempt to pass the YEE (Year End Essentials) test. Denial. “What? You can’t do that! You wouldn’t really flunk me, would you? I have a B-. OMG! You wouldn’t really do that would you?” “Yes. I would. But nobody has ever flunked just because of this.I’ve given plenty of F’s, but none of them was just because of

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Random Featured Post

Quizzes for Dummies?

A few years ago, while we were reading Outsiders aloud, I was about to give them my usual “reading check” type quiz to make sure they were following along, thinking about what we’d talked about, connecting the literary terms to the examples in the book, etc. I can’t quite remember what my inspiration was (probably just to throw them for a loop like I like to do), but I decided to let them “cheat.” My quizzes on the books and stories we read are always open book, but this time I told them they could take the quiz, not only open book, but “open mouth.” I told them they could talk about the questions and answers as much as they want in any way they want, and decide however they want to, which of the answers to choose. “You can share what you know…or not. You can decide whether to heed the wisdom of the group…or not. You just can’t lie. You can’t knowingly tell everyone the wrong answer on purpose.” One class that day came up with the name Quiz for Dummies. The rest of the periods thought that was a little “mean,” so we’ve stuck with Open Mouth. [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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Recent Comments

  • mrC commented on It’s Go Time!@Sarah-Most excellent! Keep up the good work, and don't let any of them talk you out of it. Glad to hear your kids recognize the value too. Fight the good fight!
  • Mrs. M~ commented on Illin’Feel better soon! There is nothing worse than being at school and trying to be "on" when you feel like death.
  • Sarah commented on It’s Go Time!I just came across your blog...I am a second year teacher and I am currently reading The Outsiders aloud to my seventh graders. I read it to them last year, too. I catch a lot of criticism for reading it to them...but they LOVE to have me read to them. I actually had a group
  • joan commented on Illin’I'm on day two of out-with-the-crud. I needed the rest. Hope you're in tip top shape by Monday!
  • mrC commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”That one oughta be strung up like they used to do to horse thieves.
  • Heather commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”The last sub I had left no note at all and broke the arm of my spinny chair by leaning back in it so far that he fell in the floor. The kids all said he was the best sub ever. I politely asked the school secretary to never have him sub in
  • mrC commented on The Future of Space Travel@Heather: Gawd I hate that. I think I even posted about it awhile back. @Kelli: This reminds me of high school. I went to a Jesuit high school (all boys) and for our Friday football rallies, we would import cheerleaders from other schools to be a part of the rally. And the girls would always begin
  • Heather commented on The Future of Space TravelMy eighth graders just have the habit of prefacing every question with, "I have a question." And announcing "I'm done" when they complete an assignment.
  • Kelli commented on The Future of Space TravelIs it bad that I sometimes start my stories with "Okay, so...."...? I guess the kids have rubbed off on me. Sigh.
  • Kelli commented on Blogging the Scoring Session (Part I)Ugh! Been there. I have been to those "Scoring and Rubric" type meetings in two different states now... Not fun, and not entirely informative, either.
  • Meg commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)There was a district I student taught in that hand the no fail policy. I child could not be held back a grade, even if they did absolutely nothing the whole year, until they were in high school. It took most of the middle schoolers about 3 seconds to realize they didn't have
  • Kelli commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)You know, that whole "no-zero" policy goes hand-in-hand with the "no-failure" or "no-retention" policy, and my school district is a definite contributor to this madness. I can understand the desire to stop giving zeros and MAKE the kids do the work (giving countless opportunities until successful), but I have been in a situation where
  • commented on Obligatory Santa VideoWe have an unofficial "no zero" policy. It takes a little extra effort on the teacher's part to get all of the students to complete their assignments but we have made it work. The thing that was most helpful was instituting a "homework detention" that is separate from discipline detention. If a

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