Daily Archives: June 14, 2010

OH NOOOOOO! (Part I)

June 14, 2010
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It’s never good news when your principal, as you’re rolling for home, says, “Can I get 5 minutes with you tomorrow morning…(wait a beat and a half)… about a scheduling issue?” (silently) What do you need me for? Scheduling is part of  the counselors’ job…hmmmm. (aloud) “No worries. See you tomorrow.” One of my favorite lines from my favorite movie, The Jerk, is when the repo guys are taking away all the furniture and such after Navin Johnson (Steve Martin) goes broke again. His wife, played by Bernadette Peters, is crying, and Navin tries to comfort her by telling her it’s just money, and they’re still in love, and etc. She says, crying, “It’s not losing all the money…It’s losing all the STUFF!” Well, my line at the meeting with my principal the next morning was, “It’s not teaching the eighth grade…It’s teaching the EIGHTH GRADERS!” Yes, after a 6 year reprieve, I will be having at least one period of eighth grade in the fall. Our incoming enrollment is down, so we have a lot more 8th graders than 7th graders next year. D’oh. It might actually be kind of fun; new novels to get into: Nothing But the

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Three-Word Phrases

Seventh graders “communicate” mostly in three-word phrases. If the phrase isn’t really only three words long, they can usually pare it down. “What’d I miss?” It sounds like  “Wuddeyemiss.” And it always comes right as you’re starting class. Raise your hand if you have had this happen in the past week. Past three days? Today? AAAAAARGH.  They want 54 stellar, well-planned and executed minutes of instruction summarized for them in 30 seconds as the class bustles in.  What did you miss? “Absolutely nothing. You might as well take the rest of the year off. CHECK THE WEB PAGE! COME BACK AT BREAK!” “Oh yeah. I forgot.” LOL (These days, they’re getting it down to three-letter phrases.) “What’s my grade?” This one is usually from the kid whose grade is in the bottom 15% , and s/he finally turned something in, and wants immediate gratification. And it always happens right in the middle of something else, something totally unrelated.  Yesterday we were talking about how Charlotte is finally seeing Captain Jaggery for what he really is. (Aside: If you haven’t read The True Adventures of Charlotte Doyle by Avi, I highly recommend it. I picked it up a few years ago [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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