Alternative Careers (Pink Friday Special)

March 13, 2009
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Even if you teach somewhere other than California, no doubt you’ve heard of the atrocity that is our state budget. If you teach in California, and you aren’t a 30+ year veteran, and/or you don’t teach in one of a handful of basic aid districts, you’re probably facing a pink slip. Today we were wearing pink to show solidarity and support. I forgot to wear my pink shirt, but the union had given us pink plastic ribbons (made out of the stuff they use to warn you about rebar sticking up), and I went Karate Kid stylie, wearing it as a headband. I was doing “wax on, wax off” all day. (And telling them that the Karate Kid was played by the same guy who played Johnny in the Outsiders movie.) Also explaining things like how 250/550 teachers in the district just south of here received notice today.

Being Friday/Test Day, it’s also Doodle Theme Day. So in keeping with the spirit of Pink Friday, the theme today was: What if Mr. Coward got the axe? Show him in an alternative career. Boy howdy, judging from from some of the responses, if I ever do get pink slipped, I’m in trouble. Here’s a partial list. I’ll have my girls (student assistants) scan the best doodles, and I’ll put up a gallery next week. Meanwhile, here’s a sampling of the “occupations.”

Two had me working at Mac’s Lounge (McDonald’s). One had me in a pizza suit waving a sign, shilling for a restaurant. At least three, knowing my hatred for cell phones, had me working in a cell phone hut. Rambo in Pink.(?) Bus driver. The new Super Nanny. Three hobos, all living in cardboard boxes. Santa’s Little English Helper (you’ll have to wait for the scan for that one). The new Mr. Rogers. Truant officer with a “tricked out police car” and “wacky gadgets” to “terrorize kids” with. Dictionary author. Joke stand operator. Guitarist in DEWT (Dancing Elf Warrior Troupe).

Oh baby.  The rest and the pics next time.

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You Gotta Have a Shtick (or a stick).

One of the things I like to say about teaching junior high is down at the bottom of this page in the footer. You’re too lazy to scroll, aren’t you? Fine. “Five shows a day, 180 days a year.” And there aren’t many crowds tougher than 7th graders. “This is boring.” The worst of all sins. Most of us who teach junior high have a shtick. A role we play, some isms we like to use again and again. Idiosyncrasies we play up for entertainment/attention value (oh the sharing I get when we talk about that word idiosyncrasy during “Monsters are Due on Maple Street“). The key is to make the shtick such a natural part of the classroom routine, that it doesn’t distract too much. Well, sometimes we need the distraction. There’s the Raffle King. There’s the Timer. There are the clickers. The Cage. Mental Floss. Nutty videos. MYOB. All of these are stalwart features of my classroom shtick. And as of a few years ago, there’s also the Quiet Stick. (four or five years ago – me visiting another teacher’s classroom before school) “Leenie! What the shiggy are you doing? Where’d you get this, and WHY ARE YOU [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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