Best Faux Pas Ever. (Glad it wasn’t me.)

October 3, 2008
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(Friday Flashback – Last Year)
“Mrs. G” has been teaching in our district for over 40 years. She’s been at our school since it opened in 1980. She’s taught English, art, social studies, music, and much more. She is literally an immovable object, and doesn’t need to rise from her chair to strike fear (well, not exactly fear any more, but…) into 8th graders’ hearts. She doesn’t care what people (parents, admins, other teachers) think of her, and speaks her mind whether it’s “appropriate” or not. She currently teaches 8th grade US history, and has been going toe to toe with a particularly pesky student I had last year. Now, this “Steve” sends me e-mails about how the posts he’s reading in the discussion forums on our Moodle don’t have enough thought behind them, and he has a real brain. But he’s a loud-mouthed pain in the rear, whose parents it seems, are wrapped around his finger. I was probably the only teacher he got along with…until Mrs. G.

He’s still a pain, and though, like me she recognizes and likes the Steve underneath, she’s not afeared of giving what she gets. So…

Food is not allowed in our classooms. But Steve had been bringing peanuts purchased at break into Mrs. G’s room, and eating them during class. She could never catch him with the goods, but she could always smell the peanuts on his breath. And for several days, she would warn him that she knew what he was doing, and for him to stop. Finally, after several days of this, she again smelled peanuts on Steve’s breath, and burst out angrily (and loudly — she does nothing quietly): “Steve! I am sick and tired of smelling your nuts.”

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4 Responses to Best Faux Pas Ever. (Glad it wasn’t me.)

  1. mz.w on October 5, 2008 at 7:59 am

    oh! oh oh oh oh oh oh! hee-larious!
    that’s as good as what happened to a teacher at our school last year while teaching a dramatized version of a christmas carol–one of the characters is named dick and she had forgotten to assign anyone that character in the read-aloud and so she said ” oh dear. i need a dick for this”

  2. lauradodson on October 15, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    classic.

  3. Anonymous on December 1, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    While teaching The Call of the Wild, one of my (retired) former colleagues reversed the initial consonants when intending to say “Buck fought…”

  4. [...] parents for throwing away papers, I institute fines, I throw them all in a box, I give them to Mrs. G so she can do the Hamster Dance while tearing them [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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