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“You know you missed us!”

January 5, 2010
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“You know you missed us!”

I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions. I’ve always considered New Year’s Day sort of a lame, artificial holiday. My brother and I call New Year’s Eve amateur night, and I rarely venture out. But this year, I actually made two (sorta) resolutions. One: my family has encouraged me to try to “be nicer.” Hrrmmm. We’ll see how this one works out. In fact, yesterday one kid interrupted me for the umpteenth time with, “Guess what my New Year’s Resolution is?” “If you don’t stop interrupting me, you’re going to make me break mine.” My other “resolution” is to post here more often. I already sort of broke that one too by not posting this yesterday, but… I actually kind of enjoy the first day back from vacation. “MISTER COWWWAAAAAARD! I missed you. I got braces.” “MISTER COWWWAAAAAARD! You know you missed us! You did, didn’t you? You know you did.” “MISTER COWWWAAAAAARD! I thought you were going to get a haircut over the break! But I’m glad you didn’t. But I got one. I also got an ipod. MISTER COWWWAAAAAARD!” “MISTER COWWWAAAAAARD! Did we have any homework over the break? I hope not, because I didn’t do it if

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Too Quiet

September 7, 2009
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Every year we teachers always get warnings or promises from our colleagues who teach in the grades below us. “OMG! Wait until you get a load of the bunch of sixth graders heading up there next year. You better have your whip and your chair ready.” Or, “This group we’re sending you are so self-sufficient, they barely need teaching.” Uh huh. At least around these parts, these reports are almost always wrong. So far, the most I’ve had to do to restore order is pick up the Quiet Stick. I didn’t even have to wave it, or point animatedly at  it,  or God forbid, actually wield it. One detention for no notebook, served meekly and remorsefully. I say, “Quiet you!” to an overzealous “contributor,” and the class laughs and the kid is quiet. OMG. (Bonus points if you can name where/who I stole that line from.) Things are much too quiet. I had more action out of the parents at BTSN than I’ve had so far from the kids. Even my servants student assistants are eerily quiet. I’ve NEVER had that happen before. Whether solo or in pairs, my student assistants usually jabber and jabber; at me, at each other,

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BTSN ’09

September 3, 2009
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Back-to-School Night. Again. As the kids like to say (sarcastically), “Ah, good times.” 1. Intro and parade wave to the crowd in the MultiPurpose Room. 2. Principal saying that (s)he is releasing us early to let us get ready. Why the group appearance? I don’t get it. They’re going to see us in 10 minutes. 3. Early birds dogging you beforehand. 4. People forgetting (or ignoring) the rule about no individual chats about YOUR child. 5. People forgetting (or ignoring) the rule about leaving the students at home. Too many trade secrets get out that way. 6. The glasses speech. Every year I catch several kids who need glasses, but have been claiming they don’t for months. I already got three this year. I tell the kids: “If my 47 (and change) year-old eyes can see that, and you can’t; you need glasses.”  I tell the parents: “If your students come home and say Mr. Coward was mean and said they need glasses, they do.” 7. The three-word phrase shtick. I remembered a new one this year, Not my fault. A classic right up there with “It’s not fair.” Nice lead-in for the… 8. The you’ve-already-done-seventh grade speech. Make the

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Random Featured Post

“How cute. Like hobos…” (Also: Hank Williams.)

Wednesday. Vocabulary Pretest. Talk of facades and irony. Both figure large in The Outsiders. More on that later. Today I have more insight from my friendly class. We’re reading chapter 4 (the death of Bob, Dally helping with the getaway, jumping the train out of town), and we get to where Dally is telling Pony and Johnny to “hop the 3:15 freight to Windrixville.” We pause and talk about how it’s only been less than 36 hours (book time) since the beginning. They find it hard to believe until we start to do the timeline. Figure that Pony gets out of the movie in the late afternoon, and gets jumped and saved. Pony and Johnny and Dally go to the Nightly Double the next night, and it’s now 3:15am that same night. Then I make sure they know that a freight is a train. And one girl says, “How cute. Like hobos…” Hobos maybe. Cute? [Audio clip: view full post to listen] Why Don’t You Love Me Like You Used to Do? When the boys run to find Dally at Buck Merrill’s house, Pony offers a brief description of Buck that ends with, “…he was out of it. He dug [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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