I’ve been one of the walking dead for the past several days (it feels like a hangover–or, ahem, so I’m told– with a cough). I finally called in for a sub this morning. I forgot that practically every math teacher in the district was supposed to be at their version of our “benchmark scoring day.” The difference with the math people is that they were required to come; ours was voluntary. So. It seems every sub in the district was out. My boy tells me that his class had a different sub than the other classes which means that they were covering my classes with the other subs’ preps. D’oh. I used to hate doing that when I was a sub. The boy said his was 10 minutes late, and they were stuck outside the door, milling around. Which, as you know, seventh graders don’t do quietly. Another teacher shushed them a bit until the sub showed up…without a key. I looked online, and roll got taken in only three classes. Double d’oh. Anyway, I have spent almost every moment not at school asleep (yes, even on my bike to and from), so I only have enough energy right now
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I’m trying to phonetically represent the theme from Jaws. You know, the whole approaching shark thing. Da dum. The dreaded 120 Seconds is coming! It’s January, and time for my crew to publicly display their mad oral reading and public speaking skills. Da dum, Da dum, Da dum. “Has anyone ever peed their pants?” “No, but I had one run out the door…’I'm going to be reading from…uh…’ and BAM, she was gone out the door. I sent somebody after her after about five minutes. I think that one came close.” “What’s the record for likes and uhs?” “120. We had to give her another chance the next day. She got it down to 11.” “What if I read from Winnie the Pooh?” “Did you really like it?” (sheepish) “Yes.” “”Well then, you read from Winnie the Pooh.” “What if your friend is in the audience making you laugh?” “One: Get rid of him as a friend. Two: He’d lose points on his, and you’d get to start over. Three: There is no third thing.” “Can I really get into it? And like, wear a wizard’s hat and have a magic wand for reading Harry Potter?” “That’d be beauty. Too
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Joe B, one of my recent 120 Seconds presentation examples, has been feeling a bit sporty these days. I have him on what we call, “Perma-Detention.” “You keep coming in at break until I tell you to stop. And that won’t be any time soon, at the rate you’re going…looks like until AT LEAST the end of the year.” “So, I have 88 more days of detention?” (That was the number of school days left at that point.) “Well, I might be out a day or two, and I don’t like to stick the subs with yahoos like you. They have enough to deal with in class, let alone riding herd onyou at break… So you might… Of course, I guess I could just roll those days over to next year, and you could start eighth grade having detention with your old pal Mr. Coward.” (It’s happened before. They think I’ll forget. I just have my student servant type up the list of names that are left on the board with time to serve, and send it as an e-mail to myself, or just tape it to my computer monitor. During the first week of school, I talk to their
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This time (and next), it’s not quite a rerun. It’s more of a remix. Yeah, that’s it. Right now we’re in the midst (today was day 2) of our two-minute book reports. I posted about this last year about this time, so I’m going to use that previous post as the starting point, and embellish… I have always hated “book reports.” (Wait, I told my wife I would try to stop using that word.) I didn’t like writing them (took all the fun out of the book), I didn’t like reading them back when I thought I had to assign them. I don’t like the summarize kind, the analyze kind, the combo kind, the form letter kind, or the “make a diorama” kind. (Well, some of the dioramas I used to get WERE pretty cool; the Lego version of the murder in the graveyard in Tom Sawyer was very detailed and boss, and I still have a shoebox/popcicle stick Tom Sawyer whitewashing scene from 1995, a matchstick Outsiders hide-out church from 1994, and Tom and Becky lost in a shoe-box cave, complete with bats. But still… If you do like book reports or feel the “need” to assign them , here
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(more shameless self-promotion) During the summer, one has more time for hobbies and such. I’m not much of a traveler (except for Vegas); in the summer I usually do a lot of what they used to call, puttering around. I like to carve tiki heads out of palm fronds (sweet revenge for the puncture incident), build outdoor versions of games like Pachinko and Shoot the Moon, record songs, and make videos. Mostly I’ve been making sk8 videos these days, but this one is a music video for one of my songs. Those couple of regulars out there might remember that I also have a penchant for doodling. Hope you like it.
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This afternoon, I asked my friend and colleague, in his experiences with junior high, how many times he could remember seeing two seventh grade boys hugging. Sincerely. “Like a man-hug, or a real one?” “What’s a man hug?” “You know, you start out with the soul shake, and then you pull in and sorta bump chests, and then the other hand sorta slaps the back.” “Not that kind.” “Ummm. None.” “I knew it. It was a first for me too!” Milk and Cheese, the “True That” boys, were at it again. They were moving their desks closer together (again), like they like to do, and jabbering nonsense. Nothing major, and technically it was before class, but I said, “Well the quarter does end Friday, and I change up the seating chart every quarter, so next week I get to move you guys far, far apart.” One of our recent vocabulary words was crestfallen. I should have taken a picture of them to use as an example. Milk holds out both arms pleadingly (and it if it wasn’t sincere, he should be an actor) and says, “But…But…But… What about The Team?” OMG. The class is dying. Half of them are happy [...]
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