Euphemisms

Oh, of course!

October 27, 2008
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As we have seen, the seventh grade mind works in mysterious ways. Last week left us pondering seventh grade translations for the euphemism, “vertically challenged.” In addition to the correct response, short, and many silly ones (retarded? stupid?), we also received three sincere, mystery responses: hard, clumsy, and gay. Here are the kids’ explanations: Hard – “Well, if something is vertical, it’s high, so it’s hard to get over. So it’s hard. So, see…” Hmmm. Why do all explanations like this begin with the word well, and have lots of so’s in them? Clumsy – “Well, you know, if you have a hard time staying vertical, you’re clumsy right? Always falling down? Not vertical any more.” This one isn’t bad. I think I gave it to her. Gay – “Well, if you’re not straight…you’re gay, right?” Who am I to argue with logic like that? I asked the girl in the afternoon who had also said gay. She said that was what she was thinking too. Of course. More follow up and suchlike. And some actual talk about the namesake of this blog. We finished The Outsiders. We read chapter 12 together, and there are almost as many tears during

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Let’s Play: Can You Understand a Seventh Grader?

October 23, 2008
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The last one was easy. Let’s really up the ante. We’ll have three rounds. Go! Today we were talking about euphemisms. I’m starting to get them ready to read The Giver. (I’ll be talking soon enough about the end of The Outsiders and starting up the new novel. Dunno how that slipped by.) After explaining and exampling and such, I gave them seven examples to try to translate. The last one was “vertically challenged.” “What do we have for this one?” “Retarded.” “VERTICALLY challenged, not mentally.” “How about, stupid?” “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” (Oh, sweet irony.) “Hard.” 1. OK. For one point, explain her thinking. “What? Ummm…no.” “Midget!” “Closer. A midget could be called vertically challenged, but not vice versa.” “I was thinking clumsy.” 2. For two points, explain that one. “Interesting idea…but no.” “Short!” Woo hoo. Finally. I had watched a “vertically challenged” girl get all excited when she thought she had the answer to this one, and write it down quickly. But we got to “short” before I called on her. After all the nonsense answers I can’t remember, and the finishing up with that one, I noticed she looked a little down. I

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Random Featured Post

A First!

This afternoon, I asked my friend and colleague, in his experiences with junior high, how many times he could remember seeing two seventh grade boys hugging. Sincerely. “Like a man-hug, or a real one?” “What’s a man hug?” “You know, you start out with the soul shake, and then you pull in and sorta bump chests, and then the other hand sorta slaps the back.” “Not that kind.” “Ummm. None.” “I knew it. It was a first for me too!” Milk and Cheese, the “True That” boys, were at it again. They were moving their desks closer together (again), like they like to do, and jabbering nonsense. Nothing major, and technically it was before class, but I said, “Well the quarter does end Friday, and I change up the seating chart every quarter, so next week I get to move you guys far, far apart.” One of our recent vocabulary words was crestfallen. I should have taken a picture of them to use as an example. Milk holds out both arms pleadingly (and it if it wasn’t sincere, he should be an actor) and says, “But…But…But… What about The Team?” OMG. The class is dying. Half of them are happy [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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