Grading papers

Blogging the Scoring Session (Part I)

January 11, 2012
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Sounds vaguely obscene, doesn’t it? FINALLY! I have a working computer (a most excellent deal from Costco.com and it really screams) and my net connection is working again. Dang that dang Norton. I swear, I’m betting that almost all the antivirus software out there has been secretly created by virus-makers, in order to make us so frustrated with anti-virus software, that we shut it off and leave our machines unprotected. I know that’s pretty convoluted logic, but it’s been a long day wrastling with my computer and not teaching. I was at a district scoring session. Cue the Twilight Zone theme. Our district is trying to get out ahead of the curve with regard to the coming common core standards. Out new supe got the board to give him 6 mil to jack up test scores, and it looks like we’re trying to game the test in advance of it even being created (which is about 2014). Much of the money was spent on what we call TOSA’s (pronounced TOE-sah): Teachers on Special Assignment. These are teachers that leave the classroom for a year or two or three, and move up to the DO and try to get the rest of us

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What I’m Doing Instead of Blogging

June 6, 2011
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Mental Floss Question from last week: The Pope has one but doesn’t use it. Your dad has one, and your mom uses it. Nuns do not need one. Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one, and Michael J. Fox’s is quite small. What is it? (An oldie, but a goody. Answer at the end.) As you may or may not have noticed, I haven’t been as regular lately. (Get your minds out of the gutter! I’m talking about posting here.) Here’s what I’ve been doing instead: 1. Fighting with again. This time it’s about the new spam filter for our e-mail system. In short: it sucks. It lets  more spam through and blocks a lot of addresses that used to go through. Including my wife’s. Which is hosted on my domain. Hmmm. Coincidence? Maaaaaybe. Fixable? Easily. Fixed yet?  Of course not. I finally realized why I have so much trouble with . is just like Sarah Palin. Pass the buck, blame the lamestream teacher, spout meaningless catchphrases (“have you rebooted?”), talk in that “lilt,”  (“can’t she get a G-mail account just for this?”), smile a lot, and not really do anything but toe

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Classroom Mailbag II

April 28, 2010
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Classroom Mailbag II

So it’s not tomorrow… First, a correction. During the photo tour of my classroom, I said that I thought I had moved in about 10 years ago. My how time does fly. It was 1996 when I moved into my present digs. My 7th graders weren’t even born yet. (Scary thought, that.) I even found a photo of the room from the morning before the first day of school back then. The principal at the time was really stoked on our newly remodeled facility. She even took pictures of the rooms that didn’t get remodeled. Look how tidy! And empty. (Click for full-size.) I showed the kids this pic today. They all thought it looked “boring.” “Where’s the Popple?” Onward… I am not one of those teachers who says that there are no lame questions. I believe that we junior high teachers get asked plenty of lame and stupid questions. My standard response to lame questions from my 7th graders is, “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” However, your question about the old “trade and grade” is definitely NOT lame. I’ve been wrassling (sic) with this for years. In fact, when I got my clickers a few years

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Do the Math.

May 28, 2009
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There was a comment over at seventhgradeenglish.com (how’s that for cross-promotion?) about how the commenter had just finished The Outsiders for the 75th time, and watched the movie at least as many times. Twenty five years times 3x each year. Several thoughts ran through my mind as I read the post. One: Yessss. Another veteran keeping the flame alive. Two: Only three times each year? But many of you are at them thar newfangled charter schools and such-like, and this person probably also has a period of advanced martial arts and one of calculus, and has to serve lunch and coach soccer. Three: 25 years? This person must’ve seen the move when it came out. And it’s just as cheesy today. I think I showed it one year, back in the day. Remember; look for SE Hinton as the nurse nagging Dally. And Tom Cruise and Patrick Swayze and the Karate Kid. Four: 25 years? And the book is just as vital as it was then. I’ll still be teaching it 20 years hence. Five: I just did this math with the kids back in October. “Whoa, you really know this book, don’t you?” Duh. For me, it’s 15 years

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Random Featured Post

You Gotta Have a Shtick (or a stick).

One of the things I like to say about teaching junior high is down at the bottom of this page in the footer. You’re too lazy to scroll, aren’t you? Fine. “Five shows a day, 180 days a year.” And there aren’t many crowds tougher than 7th graders. “This is boring.” The worst of all sins. Most of us who teach junior high have a shtick. A role we play, some isms we like to use again and again. Idiosyncrasies we play up for entertainment/attention value (oh the sharing I get when we talk about that word idiosyncrasy during “Monsters are Due on Maple Street“). The key is to make the shtick such a natural part of the classroom routine, that it doesn’t distract too much. Well, sometimes we need the distraction. There’s the Raffle King. There’s the Timer. There are the clickers. The Cage. Mental Floss. Nutty videos. MYOB. All of these are stalwart features of my classroom shtick. And as of a few years ago, there’s also the Quiet Stick. (four or five years ago – me visiting another teacher’s classroom before school) “Leenie! What the shiggy are you doing? Where’d you get this, and WHY ARE YOU [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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Recent Comments

  • mrC commented on It’s Go Time!@Sarah-Most excellent! Keep up the good work, and don't let any of them talk you out of it. Glad to hear your kids recognize the value too. Fight the good fight!
  • Mrs. M~ commented on Illin’Feel better soon! There is nothing worse than being at school and trying to be "on" when you feel like death.
  • Sarah commented on It’s Go Time!I just came across your blog...I am a second year teacher and I am currently reading The Outsiders aloud to my seventh graders. I read it to them last year, too. I catch a lot of criticism for reading it to them...but they LOVE to have me read to them. I actually had a group
  • joan commented on Illin’I'm on day two of out-with-the-crud. I needed the rest. Hope you're in tip top shape by Monday!
  • mrC commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”That one oughta be strung up like they used to do to horse thieves.
  • Heather commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”The last sub I had left no note at all and broke the arm of my spinny chair by leaning back in it so far that he fell in the floor. The kids all said he was the best sub ever. I politely asked the school secretary to never have him sub in
  • mrC commented on The Future of Space Travel@Heather: Gawd I hate that. I think I even posted about it awhile back. @Kelli: This reminds me of high school. I went to a Jesuit high school (all boys) and for our Friday football rallies, we would import cheerleaders from other schools to be a part of the rally. And the girls would always begin
  • Heather commented on The Future of Space TravelMy eighth graders just have the habit of prefacing every question with, "I have a question." And announcing "I'm done" when they complete an assignment.
  • Kelli commented on The Future of Space TravelIs it bad that I sometimes start my stories with "Okay, so...."...? I guess the kids have rubbed off on me. Sigh.
  • Kelli commented on Blogging the Scoring Session (Part I)Ugh! Been there. I have been to those "Scoring and Rubric" type meetings in two different states now... Not fun, and not entirely informative, either.
  • Meg commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)There was a district I student taught in that hand the no fail policy. I child could not be held back a grade, even if they did absolutely nothing the whole year, until they were in high school. It took most of the middle schoolers about 3 seconds to realize they didn't have
  • Kelli commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)You know, that whole "no-zero" policy goes hand-in-hand with the "no-failure" or "no-retention" policy, and my school district is a definite contributor to this madness. I can understand the desire to stop giving zeros and MAKE the kids do the work (giving countless opportunities until successful), but I have been in a situation where
  • commented on Obligatory Santa VideoWe have an unofficial "no zero" policy. It takes a little extra effort on the teacher's part to get all of the students to complete their assignments but we have made it work. The thing that was most helpful was instituting a "homework detention" that is separate from discipline detention. If a