Herb Caen

Various…

December 13, 2010
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More grumbling… How about this classic? You give in to much pleading and allow something to be turned in very late. After-everyone-else’s-has-been-graded-(none-too-quickly)-and-returned kind of late. And then…THE NEXT DAY, you start getting pestered, “Have you graded that yet?” I’ll get right on it. Grumble… Or this one: You get handed a pile of stapled work. “What’s this?” “My mom said I needed to get my grade up, so she made me do all this work.” “When did you ask what you could make up or even IF you could?” “We thought I could get some extra credit.” I’ll get right on it. Grumble… More seventh grade straight lines… We’re still grooving on The Midwife’s Apprentice. They were cracking up at Jennet’s “economies” at the inn where Alyce works. The over-yeasted bread, the weighted mugs, the fakie on the clean sheets… Oooh they gross out at that one. “Better not be sleeping on the bedspread at a motel…” “Ewwwwww.” They also can’t believe the sawdust in the piecrust. “Ewwww.” “Sometimes they put cellulose into those high fiber breads. You know what cellulose is?  Wood fiber.” “Ewwww.” They also can’t believe how they used to drink beer at every meal back then. Even

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Dot Dot Dot (Also: 4.7 miles!)

September 18, 2009
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Back in the day, the San Francisco Chronicle had a columnist named Herb Caen. With the exception of eight years or so in the 50′s when he jumped ship for the Examiner, he wrote a daily column for the Chronicle from the 30′s until he died in 1997. He’s the one that invented the word beatnik. He called what he did “3 dot journalism.” As you know, because you followed the convenient link provided above, he called it that because his column was usually just a long series of short comments or news items or intimations of coming news items, broken up by a series of ellipses. (Good extra credit question: “What is the punctuation we usually refer to as dotdotdot really called?” ) It finally dawned on me today that that is where Twitter stole their idea from. (D’oh! Sentence ending with a preposition!) Good Tweeters (it’s really difficult for me to even type that “word”) are channeling the spirit of Herb Caen. I haven’t done any research, (I did use to read his column fairly regularly), but I would bet that in at least one or more columns he wrote about what he had for lunch. Also where

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Random Featured Post

Three-Word Phrases

Seventh graders “communicate” mostly in three-word phrases. If the phrase isn’t really only three words long, they can usually pare it down. “What’d I miss?” It sounds like  “Wuddeyemiss.” And it always comes right as you’re starting class. Raise your hand if you have had this happen in the past week. Past three days? Today? AAAAAARGH.  They want 54 stellar, well-planned and executed minutes of instruction summarized for them in 30 seconds as the class bustles in.  What did you miss? “Absolutely nothing. You might as well take the rest of the year off. CHECK THE WEB PAGE! COME BACK AT BREAK!” “Oh yeah. I forgot.” LOL (These days, they’re getting it down to three-letter phrases.) “What’s my grade?” This one is usually from the kid whose grade is in the bottom 15% , and s/he finally turned something in, and wants immediate gratification. And it always happens right in the middle of something else, something totally unrelated.  Yesterday we were talking about how Charlotte is finally seeing Captain Jaggery for what he really is. (Aside: If you haven’t read The True Adventures of Charlotte Doyle by Avi, I highly recommend it. I picked it up a few years ago [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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