Me

CTEL H-E-Double Toothpicks

June 4, 2009
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CTEL H-E-Double Toothpicks

This week and next, while beauty by definition, are going to be a bit more hectic than usual. I am plowing through research papers. (I caught my first big plagiarist of the year – he took one of the free samples from one of those research paper mills on the net. He used to have an A…) Plus, the dreaded CTEL test (which certifies those of us without a CLAD - if you don’t teach in California, follow the links) is the next day after the last work day, and obviously I haven’t studied. I’m up to chapter 4 in the book that supposedly covers what’s on the test, but…  My plan is to take a shot at all three parts (7 hours or some such) and see what happens. There’s another round of testing in the fall, and I can take another, better informed shot at it if I fail this time. Our district has been offering classes to prepare. BUT THE PEOPLE TEACHING THE CLASSES HAVE NEVER TAKEN THE TEST! How silly is that? The classes span hours and hours after school and on weekends. BUT THE PEOPLE TEACHING THE CLASSES HAVE NEVER TAKEN THE TEST! The classes

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A True Blast from the Past (Vacation Filler)

April 16, 2009
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Every time I smell a Sharpie, I flash back to the summer between seventh and eighth grade. I spent many an hour in my closet that summer with the smell of felt pens and burning hair. No, it’s not what you think. (What WERE you thinking, anyway?) That was the summer I dug out my dad’s 8mm movie camera, and invested almost $20 (a fortune for me in 1974) in film and developing, and made a couple of movies. One was a skateboard movie. I had seen Endless Summer, and wanted to make a similar sort of skateboard movie about skating in our neighborhood. I used three reels of film at about 4 minutes each. My friend Ziggy and I used his dad’s old-school film editor, and literally taped together a masterpiece. It only survived 4 or 5 showings before some of the splices melted, and well…today all I have is a reel of outtakes. The other movie was a cartoon (of sorts), and thus has the Sharpie connection, since I used Sharpies for my “artwork.”  The pens were of the old formulation – I used to get mighty loopy after a couple of hours in the closet with my

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Flash(way)Back II

February 12, 2009
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Ok, back to my story.  So after the fine phone call that started my Friday, I go up to the office to let the secretaries know that a representative of our city’s finest might be paying me a visit. First they think I’m joking, they they start razzing me, “Cops comin’ for you again Coward?” “Same same since seventh grade.” “What?” It was 1974, and I was late for school. I hate being late. For anything. Even school, even then. I was riding my bike as usual, and in 1974, we didn’t wear helmets, let alone worry about which side of the road we were riding on, and we thought stop signs were for cars and losers. Today, the road I was on the wrong side of is 4 lanes wide, and the light I ran controls one of the busiest intersections (the cross street is 6 lanes now) in my old hometown. Back then, it was a mere 2 lanes (plus the turn lane) I was crossing against the light. I got across without a care, though that was probably because I didn’t look. I was looking a block ahead, and I could see them lining up outside in

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Flash(way)Back

February 6, 2009
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Today the cops came for me at school. Wow, that’s a pretty dramatic opening for a teacher blog entry. With any luck*, visions of God-knows-what are flashing through your head right now. “What did he do? Did they haul him off in handcuffs in front of his students? OMG, will his next post be from the cooler?” The reality wasn’t quite so dramatic, though the front office staff got quite a charge out of it. Actually, it was only one officer. And he left his number, instead of leaving with me. But it took me right back to when I was in seventh grade. That was the last time the cops showed up for me at school. Yep, this post isn’t about my class or teaching, this is all about me. I got a phone call at school at 7:30 in the morning. This in itself is a bit unusual, because I don’t really talk on the phone (no, I don’t own a cell phone – and never will), and most people know not to call me. Even the office staff knows (if it’s not an emergency) to send a runner, instead of

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OMG! Haircut!

January 5, 2009
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I’m going to dispense with the “oh noes, vacation is over, and I didn’t do anything except sleep in, install a toilet, and play Wii” in one sentence and be done with it. There. Also, before I get back to 120 Seconds tomorrow, I have another first to share. (That’s another beautiful thing about this job; even after almost 20 years, I still get surprised.) I have this thing about haircuts. I don’t like them, never have. I didn’t like getting clipped by my dad, I didn’t like going to the barber shop, I don’t like going to the salon. I always had to stuff my hair up into my headgear for wrestling, back in the day. I was a long hair (rock and roll stylie – middle of the back) for many years in the 80′s. I even did my first student teaching with hair like that. (Parent conferences were a beauty; parents with whom I had had fine phone conversations reacted quite differently sometimes when meeting me in person. I like to tell those stories during The Outsiders.) My wife has cut me now and then, but after a slip of the clip once, she has begged off.

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Random Featured Post

True That.

We had an open mouth quiz on chapter 8 today. One class has several boys who have a new phrase they’re trying out. Personally, I sort of like it. 4) On p127, we get an example of what seems to be foreshadowing. What is it? a) When Two-Bit says that Darry will kill him if Pony’s really sick. b) When Two-Bit says Darry could be a Soc. c) When Pony says he has a helpless feeling. d) When Two-Bit calls Pony chicken. e) When Pony says he’ll be well by tonight. “OK, number four. What’s foreshadowing?” The class takes care of that one for me. Most of them laugh, and one says, “I was wrong.” (Pony’s line at the end of chapter three, and a beauty example for them of foreshadowing.) “Oh yeah. Ok, so it’s C, right?” “True that.” “Number six. Darry, I mean Dally (they always mix up those names), right?” “True that.” (me, doing some “refocusing” of a gentleman off to the side) “‘Clark,’ could you focus your comments on the questions? Open mouth only applies if that mouth is talking about the questions.” “True that.” “And I think we’re done with that line, for today at [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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