Rerun

“I was sent to the box…” (Summer Rerun: Rated G+)

July 20, 2011
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Back-to-School sales have been going strong for weeks already. My boy went school supply shopping. My wife has already broached the subject of  me buying some fresh shoes and shirts for once this year. I start teaching a new class in five weeks, and I don’t really know at all what we’ll be doing on the first day, let alone for a whole quarter. And only five weeks until we find out just how we will cope with my boy being in my class. ZOMG! So today’s summer rerun features my son and soon-to-be student. This one is from April 2009. I’ll be back at the end with a bit more. I was a teacher long before I became a parent. In fact, I balked at parenthood for a long time at least partly BECAUSE I was a teacher: “Why don’t you have kids, Mr C?”  “I do. I have 150 of you every day.” Luckily, I was finally persuaded, and now I have a wonderful son. My boy is almost 10 now. In two years, he will most likely be in my class. I’m not sure how that’s going to play out. If you’re still reading this blog then,

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IHAQ (Summer Rerun)

July 14, 2011
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(Around these parts, just like on tv, summertime means reruns. This is from last September.) You all know the type. They might as well just walk in the door with their hand up. Actually some sort of do. They are the question machines, also known as IHAQ’s (pronounced I Hacks). “I have a question.” They have a question about EVERYTHING, many times BEFORE you even start talking. I have a couple of serious IHAQ’s this year. One girl would be a lock to win one of those challenges on Survivor where you have to keep your hand over your head or your bucket of water puts out your fire or something. I have a question. Actually I have four. Is that ok? One: Why do they always say, “I have a question”? Of course you have a question; that’s why you raised your hand. And if you have a comment, rather than a question,  you can still just raise your hand, and make your comment. You don’t have to preface it with, “I have a comment.” It’s like those kids who think a conclusion to an essay sounds like this, “…And that’s why I think cheese-making should be an elective in the

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Best Misspelling Ever (Also: Research Rerun)

May 25, 2011
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Best Misspelling Ever (Also: Research Rerun)

When my eighth graders were reading Flowers for Algernon, they all laughed at Charlie’s spelling in the early Progris  Riport (sic) entries. It happens every time I do that story. But as you all know, Charlie ain’t got nothin’  on your typical middle schooler when it comes to creative spelling: radickulus begging (for beginning — Boy Howdy, I hate that one!) probly Satin-worshiping ballune But while reading their one page samples of their research papers in progress, one girl… Hold on. I have to interrupt this post with another brief aside. The girl in question here has made great progress this year. I hear that last year, as a seventh grader, she was the epitome of  S and R (sullen and resentful: the teenage default) as well as defiant and etc. She also lived through some things as a kid that no one should have to, and is now being raised by her sister. But she is a sweet girl, who really just needs a dad. Anyway, today she was turned around jabbering with her friend while I was trying to give directions, and I called her on it. I got the perfunctory (vocab word for seventh graders this week)

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Da dum…Da dum Da dum Da dum…Da dum…

January 4, 2011
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Da dum…Da dum Da dum Da dum…Da dum…

I’m trying to phonetically represent the theme from Jaws. You know, the whole approaching shark thing. Da dum. The dreaded 120 Seconds is coming! It’s January, and time for my crew to publicly display their mad oral reading and public speaking skills. Da dum, Da dum, Da dum. “Has anyone ever peed their pants?” “No, but I had one run out the door…’I'm going to be reading from…uh…’ and BAM, she was gone out the door. I sent somebody after her after about five minutes. I think that one came close.” “What’s the record for likes and uhs?” “120. We had to give her another chance the next day. She got it down to 11.” “What if I read from Winnie the Pooh?” “Did you really like it?” (sheepish) “Yes.” “”Well then, you read from Winnie the Pooh.” “What if your friend is in the audience making you laugh?” “One: Get rid of him as a friend. Two: He’d lose points on his, and you’d get to start over. Three: There is no third thing.” “Can I really get into it? And like, wear a wizard’s hat and have a magic wand for reading Harry Potter?” “That’d be beauty. Too

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Seventh Graders are Too Easy (Partial Rerun)

December 9, 2010
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We’re reading The Midwife’s Apprentice right now, live in class like we do Outsiders. That’s the royal we, since I’m the one doing all the reading. But that’s ok; I like it. The kids are loving it, and are asking to read almost as much as they did during Outsiders. (Well ok, they aren’t begging, but…) They like our heroine’s spunkiness (“pluck” as Will Russet calls it in the book), and they get to hear me read words like fart and piss. It’s funny and gross, and they love feeling so superior to the ignorant peasants of 1275. And I love to tease them. Today we were reading the part where Alyce is learning to read from Magister Reese, and he’s reading to her from his great encyclopedia. It says that she learned about the Roman Empire that “stretched all the way to Britain…” “Didn’t you guys learn about that in social studies already?” “Yeah. It was boring.” “Of course.” And Alyce also learned about “…the island of giant ants who walked upright and mined for gold…” “Have you guys gotten to that unit yet? Hasn’t Mr. White taught you about the ancient Ant Island?” They don’t know what kind of face to make.

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Random Featured Post

“There’s already something on the back of mine.” (Also: Racial Harmony.)

It was our first day back in the classroom after 8 days in the library. We were all glad to be back. “Oh, my clicker…how I’ve missed you.” One of them actually said that. OMG. What a day. Full of action, and laugh after laugh. First there was the video. YouTube is blocked in our district. Our head of IST keeps bleating about CIPA and how YouTube doesn’t filter, and…anyway, we can’t use YouTube. But finally, they created a workaround for us. We have to do things from home rather than from school, but it works OK. We find the YouTube video we want to use, and copy the URL. Then we go to the district’s “safe video portal” and paste it in. Then we can approve our own video, and use the safe portal to show it at school. It’s a bit clunky, but it works fine. Yesterday I added a video. I hadn’t even showed it yet, when I got an e-mail from my principal. I have only added a couple of videos before, but both of them were of the nutty variety, rather than the “educational” sort.  One of them is near the top of the most [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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Recent Comments

  • mrC commented on It’s Go Time!@Sarah-Most excellent! Keep up the good work, and don't let any of them talk you out of it. Glad to hear your kids recognize the value too. Fight the good fight!
  • Mrs. M~ commented on Illin’Feel better soon! There is nothing worse than being at school and trying to be "on" when you feel like death.
  • Sarah commented on It’s Go Time!I just came across your blog...I am a second year teacher and I am currently reading The Outsiders aloud to my seventh graders. I read it to them last year, too. I catch a lot of criticism for reading it to them...but they LOVE to have me read to them. I actually had a group
  • joan commented on Illin’I'm on day two of out-with-the-crud. I needed the rest. Hope you're in tip top shape by Monday!
  • mrC commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”That one oughta be strung up like they used to do to horse thieves.
  • Heather commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”The last sub I had left no note at all and broke the arm of my spinny chair by leaning back in it so far that he fell in the floor. The kids all said he was the best sub ever. I politely asked the school secretary to never have him sub in
  • mrC commented on The Future of Space Travel@Heather: Gawd I hate that. I think I even posted about it awhile back. @Kelli: This reminds me of high school. I went to a Jesuit high school (all boys) and for our Friday football rallies, we would import cheerleaders from other schools to be a part of the rally. And the girls would always begin
  • Heather commented on The Future of Space TravelMy eighth graders just have the habit of prefacing every question with, "I have a question." And announcing "I'm done" when they complete an assignment.
  • Kelli commented on The Future of Space TravelIs it bad that I sometimes start my stories with "Okay, so...."...? I guess the kids have rubbed off on me. Sigh.
  • Kelli commented on Blogging the Scoring Session (Part I)Ugh! Been there. I have been to those "Scoring and Rubric" type meetings in two different states now... Not fun, and not entirely informative, either.
  • Meg commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)There was a district I student taught in that hand the no fail policy. I child could not be held back a grade, even if they did absolutely nothing the whole year, until they were in high school. It took most of the middle schoolers about 3 seconds to realize they didn't have
  • Kelli commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)You know, that whole "no-zero" policy goes hand-in-hand with the "no-failure" or "no-retention" policy, and my school district is a definite contributor to this madness. I can understand the desire to stop giving zeros and MAKE the kids do the work (giving countless opportunities until successful), but I have been in a situation where
  • commented on Obligatory Santa VideoWe have an unofficial "no zero" policy. It takes a little extra effort on the teacher's part to get all of the students to complete their assignments but we have made it work. The thing that was most helpful was instituting a "homework detention" that is separate from discipline detention. If a

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