Isn’t there a law written down somewhere that requires school dances end with “Stairway to Heaven”? What happened to that? Was the law repealed? Or is there just no enforcement? I didn’t have my usual luck in drawing numbers for extra-curricular duty sign ups. The last time I had to chaperon a dance was my first year here…16 years ago. But tonight I got to watch 200+ kids wiggle for an hour and a half. Wiggle isn’t quite the right word. They just never stopped moving. As I recall, dances usually consisted of a lot of standing around, mixed with moments of terror. (Sort of like war, I hear.) This was not like that. Not one of them stopped moving ever. Not for any longer than it took to get a piece of pizza or some cotton candy. Never. Stopped. Moving. If they were standing in one place (never longer than 3 minutes), they were hopping up and down, or just sort of vibrating and, well wiggling. After 3 minutes of that, small groups would just randomly run outside, or to another part of the multipurpose room. More groups would follow, and the whole crowd would flow like an amoeba.
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This afternoon, I asked my friend and colleague, in his experiences with junior high, how many times he could remember seeing two seventh grade boys hugging. Sincerely. “Like a man-hug, or a real one?” “What’s a man hug?” “You know, you start out with the soul shake, and then you pull in and sorta bump chests, and then the other hand sorta slaps the back.” “Not that kind.” “Ummm. None.” “I knew it. It was a first for me too!” Milk and Cheese, the “True That” boys, were at it again. They were moving their desks closer together (again), like they like to do, and jabbering nonsense. Nothing major, and technically it was before class, but I said, “Well the quarter does end Friday, and I change up the seating chart every quarter, so next week I get to move you guys far, far apart.” One of our recent vocabulary words was crestfallen. I should have taken a picture of them to use as an example. Milk holds out both arms pleadingly (and it if it wasn’t sincere, he should be an actor) and says, “But…But…But… What about The Team?” OMG. The class is dying. Half of them are happy [...]
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