Seventh Grade Behavior

Only in Junior High

January 29, 2011
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We interrupt this interminable faculty meeting for some comedy relief… I suppose that people  in almost every profession could say, with at least some justification, that their jobs are unlike any other. That’s sort of by definition. But I think everyone here will know what I mean when I say that when you’re teaching junior high, every DAY is unlike any other.  Every hour. There was a cartoon on the wall in our faculty lounge for years and years. It showed an elderly lady–the stereotypically old-school teacher–standing serenely smiling amid the flames of Hell. There were two devils, standing on either side of her and one was sort of poking her with his pitchfork, as I recall. The other one was saying, “Don’t bother. We can’t do anything to her; she was a junior high teacher.” I don’t know that I would call it Hell, but as they used to say in the old cop shows: In this job, you see all kinds. Example: The Clicker Nightmare. As everyone here knows, I use CPS clickers almost daily in my classroom. And the kids sort of jones a bit when we don’t use them for a few days. (“You mean we have to

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I Didn’t Ask.

January 10, 2011
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I Didn’t Ask.

(Pre-Reading Tip: Look for the irony in this post.) I have been a bit laggy posting lately. It’s because of my new toy, my Nook Color e-reader. I might post a full review one of these days, but suffice it to say that this thing rocks. In a couple of weeks when BandN sends out a software upgrade, it will become basically a full-fledged tablet. Right now I can already surf the the web with wifi, read my books while rocking to mp3′s or Pandora, and edit MS Word files. Lately I’ve been reading Keith Richards’s autobiography, Life. It’s been a great read, and I learned some beauty tips for playing the guitar. Underneath all the junkie stuff  Keef, as his aunt called him, is really a pretty good, big-hearted guy, who REALLY loves music. All he really wants to do is play his guitar every day… all day…sometimes for 8 days straight without sleeping. (Also: The blood-changing story is fake, the Stones album Voodoo Lounge is named after a cat Keith rescued in Jamaica, Mick Jagger is a jerk, and I helped make some special 5-string guitars for Keef back when I worked at the Ernie Ball factory.) Anyway… Did you ever

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Various…

December 13, 2010
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More grumbling… How about this classic? You give in to much pleading and allow something to be turned in very late. After-everyone-else’s-has-been-graded-(none-too-quickly)-and-returned kind of late. And then…THE NEXT DAY, you start getting pestered, “Have you graded that yet?” I’ll get right on it. Grumble… Or this one: You get handed a pile of stapled work. “What’s this?” “My mom said I needed to get my grade up, so she made me do all this work.” “When did you ask what you could make up or even IF you could?” “We thought I could get some extra credit.” I’ll get right on it. Grumble… More seventh grade straight lines… We’re still grooving on The Midwife’s Apprentice. They were cracking up at Jennet’s “economies” at the inn where Alyce works. The over-yeasted bread, the weighted mugs, the fakie on the clean sheets… Oooh they gross out at that one. “Better not be sleeping on the bedspread at a motel…” “Ewwwwww.” They also can’t believe the sawdust in the piecrust. “Ewwww.” “Sometimes they put cellulose into those high fiber breads. You know what cellulose is?  Wood fiber.” “Ewwww.” They also can’t believe how they used to drink beer at every meal back then. Even

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Seventh Graders are Too Easy (Partial Rerun)

December 9, 2010
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We’re reading The Midwife’s Apprentice right now, live in class like we do Outsiders. That’s the royal we, since I’m the one doing all the reading. But that’s ok; I like it. The kids are loving it, and are asking to read almost as much as they did during Outsiders. (Well ok, they aren’t begging, but…) They like our heroine’s spunkiness (“pluck” as Will Russet calls it in the book), and they get to hear me read words like fart and piss. It’s funny and gross, and they love feeling so superior to the ignorant peasants of 1275. And I love to tease them. Today we were reading the part where Alyce is learning to read from Magister Reese, and he’s reading to her from his great encyclopedia. It says that she learned about the Roman Empire that “stretched all the way to Britain…” “Didn’t you guys learn about that in social studies already?” “Yeah. It was boring.” “Of course.” And Alyce also learned about “…the island of giant ants who walked upright and mined for gold…” “Have you guys gotten to that unit yet? Hasn’t Mr. White taught you about the ancient Ant Island?” They don’t know what kind of face to make.

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Pssssst. Act!

November 4, 2010
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We  almost finished The Monsters are Due on Maple Street today. Obviously, since it’s in teleplay form, we have had people reading parts. I get to read the longer stage directions and be Rod Serling, all deep and gravelly. (You wouldn’t believe how many people have told me my voice sounds like David Frost. I figure that’s close enough.) And I’m sure I don’t have to tell you guys how the whole reading parts thing goes.  But I will anyway. 1. As soon as I say, “It’s a pla–” the hands go up volunteering for parts they can’t handle. 2. There’s always a bunch of boys who want to volunteer for the women’s parts. Then they they can’t cope if they have to call another character “Honey,” or they try to talk in a high voice, and end up giggling and stumbling so much I have to relieve them of their duties. 3. Girls do fine with men’s parts. 4. There are never enough good readers to go around. And most of them are girls. 5. When I say, “I need a good reader for this one, because he has a lot of lines, and is important to the story,”

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Random Featured Post

True That.

We had an open mouth quiz on chapter 8 today. One class has several boys who have a new phrase they’re trying out. Personally, I sort of like it. 4) On p127, we get an example of what seems to be foreshadowing. What is it? a) When Two-Bit says that Darry will kill him if Pony’s really sick. b) When Two-Bit says Darry could be a Soc. c) When Pony says he has a helpless feeling. d) When Two-Bit calls Pony chicken. e) When Pony says he’ll be well by tonight. “OK, number four. What’s foreshadowing?” The class takes care of that one for me. Most of them laugh, and one says, “I was wrong.” (Pony’s line at the end of chapter three, and a beauty example for them of foreshadowing.) “Oh yeah. Ok, so it’s C, right?” “True that.” “Number six. Darry, I mean Dally (they always mix up those names), right?” “True that.” (me, doing some “refocusing” of a gentleman off to the side) “‘Clark,’ could you focus your comments on the questions? Open mouth only applies if that mouth is talking about the questions.” “True that.” “And I think we’re done with that line, for today at [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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