The Midwife’s Apprentice

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December 15, 2011
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Day five. My computer just died, so I am blogging from my 99 dollah HP Touchpad. It’s hacked to be an Android tablet. I’m not really used to typing on these here touchscreen things. I hope I don’t end up on DamnYouAutocorrect.com. We’ve been finishing up The Midwife’s Apprentice. (I feel like I’m trying to imitate Hemingway with all these short, choppy sentences.) Today we’re at the end where Alyce knocks on the the midwife’s door and gets rejected. So I stop and ask… “Why? What does Jane want Alyce to say?” Now just couple of days ago we were at the part where Jane visits the inn, and pulls a Magister Reese while talking to Magister Reese, indirectly telling Alyce that she needed to learn to not give up. I had stopped then, and we made a big deal of it. So,silly me, I thought they were ready to show me they remembered from a whole two days ago. “I’m sorry?” “For what?” “Ummmmm” “To promise she won’t steal her mothers?” “Not bad…but no.” All day most of the wrong answers fell into those two categories, with one or two outliers like this gem, “I’m good at cleaning and

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Various…

December 13, 2010
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More grumbling… How about this classic? You give in to much pleading and allow something to be turned in very late. After-everyone-else’s-has-been-graded-(none-too-quickly)-and-returned kind of late. And then…THE NEXT DAY, you start getting pestered, “Have you graded that yet?” I’ll get right on it. Grumble… Or this one: You get handed a pile of stapled work. “What’s this?” “My mom said I needed to get my grade up, so she made me do all this work.” “When did you ask what you could make up or even IF you could?” “We thought I could get some extra credit.” I’ll get right on it. Grumble… More seventh grade straight lines… We’re still grooving on The Midwife’s Apprentice. They were cracking up at Jennet’s “economies” at the inn where Alyce works. The over-yeasted bread, the weighted mugs, the fakie on the clean sheets… Oooh they gross out at that one. “Better not be sleeping on the bedspread at a motel…” “Ewwwwww.” They also can’t believe the sawdust in the piecrust. “Ewwww.” “Sometimes they put cellulose into those high fiber breads. You know what cellulose is?  Wood fiber.” “Ewwww.” They also can’t believe how they used to drink beer at every meal back then. Even

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Seventh Graders are Too Easy (Partial Rerun)

December 9, 2010
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We’re reading The Midwife’s Apprentice right now, live in class like we do Outsiders. That’s the royal we, since I’m the one doing all the reading. But that’s ok; I like it. The kids are loving it, and are asking to read almost as much as they did during Outsiders. (Well ok, they aren’t begging, but…) They like our heroine’s spunkiness (“pluck” as Will Russet calls it in the book), and they get to hear me read words like fart and piss. It’s funny and gross, and they love feeling so superior to the ignorant peasants of 1275. And I love to tease them. Today we were reading the part where Alyce is learning to read from Magister Reese, and he’s reading to her from his great encyclopedia. It says that she learned about the Roman Empire that “stretched all the way to Britain…” “Didn’t you guys learn about that in social studies already?” “Yeah. It was boring.” “Of course.” And Alyce also learned about “…the island of giant ants who walked upright and mined for gold…” “Have you guys gotten to that unit yet? Hasn’t Mr. White taught you about the ancient Ant Island?” They don’t know what kind of face to make.

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What? What? (Wait for it…) OMG! EWWW!

February 1, 2010
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We’re still working on The Midwife’s Apprentice. They’re even starting to ask, “Can we read Alyce today?” They’re hoping for another fart or piss sighting. They get that, and then some…but not like they expect. After all, our heroine is working for a midwife, so there are going to be some, shall we say, awkward bits. Especially for the boys. I’ve been doing a lot of (pun intended) pregnant pauses while I read aloud, to let some things sink in. We had a classic example today. In the chapter called “The Leaving,” Alyce gets called to deliver a baby herself (making the midwife angry–this is what she was worried about from the beginning– and prompting Jane to whack Alyce across the cheek). The baby won’t come, and Alyce doesn’t want to make a mistake (one of the big themes of the novel is believing in yourself), so she throws in the towel and sends for the midwife. The midwife bustles in and sets to work. Then we get to the line (I’m going from memory, so…) “anointing her hands with cornmeal and oil, she pulled and tugged that baby from both the inside and the outside…” And I stop, midsentence.

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“I near pi_ _ed myself.” (120 Seconds II)

January 14, 2010
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“I near pi_ _ed myself.” (120 Seconds II)

We had missed a few days of reading The Midwife’s Apprentice, so I told a couple of the kids scheduled to read to us today for their 120 Seconds presentations that they were postponed until tomorrow, so I could carve out a little more time for reading MWA. You’d have thought I was the governor calling in their pardons, seconds before the warden pulls the switch. I wanted to get to the end of chapter 6, where Alyce/Beetle saves Will, one of the boys who’s been taunting her, from the river. It’s also the chapter where she asks the cat what he wants to be named. It’s also one of my favorite parts of the book, and if I were a seventh grader doing my 120 Seconds, it would be the part I’d read out loud.  When Will says that Beetle “were brave” because she didn’t run away, Beetle replies, “Naw, I be not brave. I near pissed myself.” I always have to pause for the pandemonium. Sometimes I repeat the line, milking it like a bad comedian. “I guess she was scared… ‘I near…’” The line is all too appropriate for the way some of them are looking forward

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Random Featured Post

True That.

We had an open mouth quiz on chapter 8 today. One class has several boys who have a new phrase they’re trying out. Personally, I sort of like it. 4) On p127, we get an example of what seems to be foreshadowing. What is it? a) When Two-Bit says that Darry will kill him if Pony’s really sick. b) When Two-Bit says Darry could be a Soc. c) When Pony says he has a helpless feeling. d) When Two-Bit calls Pony chicken. e) When Pony says he’ll be well by tonight. “OK, number four. What’s foreshadowing?” The class takes care of that one for me. Most of them laugh, and one says, “I was wrong.” (Pony’s line at the end of chapter three, and a beauty example for them of foreshadowing.) “Oh yeah. Ok, so it’s C, right?” “True that.” “Number six. Darry, I mean Dally (they always mix up those names), right?” “True that.” (me, doing some “refocusing” of a gentleman off to the side) “‘Clark,’ could you focus your comments on the questions? Open mouth only applies if that mouth is talking about the questions.” “True that.” “And I think we’re done with that line, for today at [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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