Writing

Failure Story

April 4, 2011
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Usually I like to highlight my many and various triumphs in the classroom, and offer tips for the unwashed masses; you know, success stories. Let’s call this one a failure story. They say that in science, a failed experiment will teach you as much as one that succeeds, maybe more. Hmmm. Let’s hope so. Every year I try to make sure, even though there’s a definite routine I follow, that I still have room to mix it up and try out new material. (Aside: Believe it or not, I wrastled for awhile about where to put the word that in the previous sentence. Wait, I’m talking to English teachers. Of course you believe it. But try it. Should the word that go after the word sure, or where it ended up–after the second comma?) This year, like always, we have the 600 Words/Week going. And, as always, they need something to do while I check on them every Tuesday. Usually what I have done is give them time to write toward next week’s 600 words, and a list of suggested topics that they can do with what they like: use, mutate, ignore, combine, whatever. I don’t care; just write. This year I

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Be-er?

March 19, 2011
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I’m going to try to tie together a couple of loose ends here.  A couple of  weeks ago (see how laggy I’m getting?) I was showing how long it takes me to actually finish some of these posts (haha, ironic), and I was telling the story of teaching the vocabulary word brusque. Let us resume the story… …One of the words on said vocabulary pretest was the word brusque.  I’m going over examples (“Think of  the stereotypical New Yorker”) and synonyms (“Kind of like a little pushy and a bit rude”), looking for them to give me the word for the blank on the homework sheet. One kid who really thought he knew that one guesses wrong, and when I give the correct answer, he looks even more puzzled than usual. With this guy, I’ve learned to wait a beat, and then the light bulb usually goes on. Sure enough, his face lights up, and he says, “I thought that word was brewski!” The whole class is dying. “I was wondering why people talked about brewskis all the time. Why would you talk about that? I was very confused. In DARE they talked about brewskis…” O. M. G. So now it’s a

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“Can I use the?”

March 14, 2011
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OK, I am officially buried. Behind. Lagging. Flaking? Behind the eight ball? Freaking out? Well maybe things aren’t that bad. I still have (a little) time for my homies here at this blog. I’m finally giving back shtuff my eighth graders gave me on February 9. Hello, my name is mrC, and I am a procrastinator. Anyway, this ain’t the place for whining; I gotta get my groove back. When last we talked, my students were flipping out at the writing exercise I had given them: one page about anything, you can’t use any form of be, do, go, get, or have. Go! D’oh! The whole point is to get them away from boring VERBS that don’t show any action and to force them into thinking of new ways to phrase their sentences. It’s a great exercise, and it drives them batty, but I would never make them write an entire real essay in this way. As I said before, I used to assign this one early in the year–during the first week, sometimes even on the first day–but then a whole lot of them thought they had to write that way all year, that those words were banned from

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“My brain hurts!”

March 9, 2011
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One of my favorite things about teaching junior high is blowing their minds. One of my fave parts of the week is Fridays before the test, when we do Mental Floss. Middle schoolers: they can’t hit the curveball. Like this: “When the day after tomorrow is yesterday, this day will be as far from Friday as this day was from Friday when the day before yesterday was tomorrow. What day is it?” All I asked was, “What day is it?” All the rest is obfuscation. But they always try to figure it out. “OK, so. Day after tomorrow is Sunday, so yesterday is Thursday…wait…How can it be yesterday?” And etc. This class is also the first time some of them contemplate the whole time travel paradox thing. “So if Stevo here is feeling all sporty,  joyriding in his stolen car back in the past, and accidentally runs over his mom before she’s his mom…” “Ewww. Why would he do that?” “He didn’t know it was her. And speed kills. Anyway, now what would happen? If she never had him…” “He’d just disappear!” Most triumphant. “So how did he travel back in time to hit her? If he was never born

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Sox and Brewskis (The Writing Process I)

March 2, 2011
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My long posting drought has reminded me of another classic seventh grade three-word phrase. They always use it when they come back from an absence. “Didja miss me?” “You were gone? THAT’S why it was so quiet and peaceful yesterday.” OK, so. Today’s “long-awaited” entry will offer a glimpse into the “writing process” for this here blog thing. I like to try to get in at least 2-3 posts per week. It keeps me thinking about what I do, and it’s kinda fun. Also, at least in this context, I guess I like sharing. But alas, as in teaching, things rarely go as planned. I started this post on Thursday, February 17th. Like this: It’s been raining here lately. I don’t like rain. My motto is “Brown hills and blue skies.” I acknowledge the necessity of rain (sort of like my begrudging acceptance of the auto and the phone), but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. And I still have to ride my bike to work. And the other day my new boots leaked on the way to school. Usually I would have a spare pair of socks (along with spares of other, ahem, articles of clothing) stashed

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Random Featured Post

Oh Raffle King, Oh Raffle King…

(Sung — way off key, and sort of warbley — to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree.”) I guess we need to talk about the King. On Wednesdays, after we go over the vocabulary homework, and discuss the words, I give them a vocabulary pretest. If they ace it (100%), they are exempt from the vocabulary portion of the Friday test. I used to have one of them flip a coin to decide whether or not I let them use their “cheat sheet” — the homework page we just went over and corrected — on the pretest. What they don’t believe when I tell them — even though it’s true — is that, on average, their scores on the pretest are lower when they use the cheat sheets, and fewer of them get an exemption. But they like to think it’s a security blanket, so I play along. Then I discovered the King. I would give you the URL of his creator’s web site, but he has some other, shall we say, inappropriate shtuff. (You can do a Google search if you really want to check it out.) So I took the liberty of “cloning” the King. If you click [...]

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Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

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Recent Comments

  • mrC commented on It’s Go Time!@Sarah-Most excellent! Keep up the good work, and don't let any of them talk you out of it. Glad to hear your kids recognize the value too. Fight the good fight!
  • Mrs. M~ commented on Illin’Feel better soon! There is nothing worse than being at school and trying to be "on" when you feel like death.
  • Sarah commented on It’s Go Time!I just came across your blog...I am a second year teacher and I am currently reading The Outsiders aloud to my seventh graders. I read it to them last year, too. I catch a lot of criticism for reading it to them...but they LOVE to have me read to them. I actually had a group
  • joan commented on Illin’I'm on day two of out-with-the-crud. I needed the rest. Hope you're in tip top shape by Monday!
  • mrC commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”That one oughta be strung up like they used to do to horse thieves.
  • Heather commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”The last sub I had left no note at all and broke the arm of my spinny chair by leaning back in it so far that he fell in the floor. The kids all said he was the best sub ever. I politely asked the school secretary to never have him sub in
  • mrC commented on The Future of Space Travel@Heather: Gawd I hate that. I think I even posted about it awhile back. @Kelli: This reminds me of high school. I went to a Jesuit high school (all boys) and for our Friday football rallies, we would import cheerleaders from other schools to be a part of the rally. And the girls would always begin
  • Heather commented on The Future of Space TravelMy eighth graders just have the habit of prefacing every question with, "I have a question." And announcing "I'm done" when they complete an assignment.
  • Kelli commented on The Future of Space TravelIs it bad that I sometimes start my stories with "Okay, so...."...? I guess the kids have rubbed off on me. Sigh.
  • Kelli commented on Blogging the Scoring Session (Part I)Ugh! Been there. I have been to those "Scoring and Rubric" type meetings in two different states now... Not fun, and not entirely informative, either.
  • Meg commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)There was a district I student taught in that hand the no fail policy. I child could not be held back a grade, even if they did absolutely nothing the whole year, until they were in high school. It took most of the middle schoolers about 3 seconds to realize they didn't have
  • Kelli commented on No Groove Yet (Also: The Giver and No Homework Returns)You know, that whole "no-zero" policy goes hand-in-hand with the "no-failure" or "no-retention" policy, and my school district is a definite contributor to this madness. I can understand the desire to stop giving zeros and MAKE the kids do the work (giving countless opportunities until successful), but I have been in a situation where
  • commented on Obligatory Santa VideoWe have an unofficial "no zero" policy. It takes a little extra effort on the teacher's part to get all of the students to complete their assignments but we have made it work. The thing that was most helpful was instituting a "homework detention" that is separate from discipline detention. If a

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