Did You Ride Your Bike?

Posted on September 2, 2015Filed Under Rerun, Seventh Grade Behavior | Leave a Comment

I don’t usually do two reruns in a row, but today I got, I mean received, the first flurry of  one of the specialties of the seventh grade critter: questions that they should already know the answers to. The first one was the perennial classic, “Did you ride your bike?” This as they gaze upon my bike sitting prominently in the room. Seventh graders are what I like to call Masters of the Obvious, and this post from 2010 pretty much sums up the concept.

“Masters of the Obvious – 10/25/10”

Let’s begin with an example. The rule in my class for warm ups and other classwork is that they always have to write the title and the date every time they write in their notebooks. So if you, dear reader, were one of my seventh graders, your most likely response upon reading the above title would be:

“Is today’s title ‘Masters of the Obvious’?”

Then…wait for it…

“What’s the date?”

It is one of the hallmarks of the junior high species: the stating (usually in the form of a question) of a staring-you-in-the-face-obvious fact. (Other hallmarks include: the three-word phrase, the pack mentality, and the need for routine, but I digress…again.)

If you can’t handle the redundant question/statement thing, you won’t last a week in this job. If you wear a new shirt, they tell you wore a new shirt. Or they ask if that’s a new shirt. If you ask them to take out their assignment books, they’ll ask if there’s any homework. Then there’s the ever popular, “I saw you.”

“Yes, I said hi to you, remember?”

“But I saw you.”

(After my semi-annual haircut…)

“Did you get a haircut?” or “You got a haircut.”

“No, I don’t discriminate; I got them all cut.”

(After my boy gets me some new pink reading specs from the dollar store…)

“Did you get new glasses? They’re pink.”

“What? No way!”

(Looking around at all the Simpsons kitsch I have in my classroom…)

“Do you like The Simpsons or something?”

“No. I just like bits of plastic from China.”

(Upon seeing the assembly schedule prominently displayed…)

“Do we have an assembly today?”

(Finally noticing my bike in the corner of the room…where it has been every day since day one…)

“Did you ride your bike to school?”

Sigh.

More:

“Do we need to put our name on this?”
“Only if you want credit.”

“Do we have to do  KBAR?”
“Only if you want to pass.”

“Do I need a pencil today?”
“Duh.”

“Do we have to?”
“Yes.”

“I’m kind of hyper today.”
“No way! Really?”

Here’s the original post w/comments. More in the “Masters of” series:  Masters of the Non-Sequitur and Masters of the Oblivious.

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