We endured another Red Ribbon Week recently. There was an assembly with meth-head tooth porn. There was a door decorating contest, where the “leadership” class delivered red paper, cotton balls, glitter, and various other crafty-type items to all the homie base classrooms and wanted us to decorate our doors with a “Say NO to Drugs” theme. I guess there was a contest to see whose door could be the most cheesy or hideous. We declined the “art” supplies. One of the winners was the next-door home ec class: “Save the needles for sewing!”


There were the obligatory dress-up days. Why do kids like wearing their pajamas to school? I mean really. Aren’t those onesies a pain when you have to pee? And what does dress up have to do with┬áRed Ribbon Week?

They did a lunchtime activity where they got to wear beer goggles. Most of them liked it.

Another activity was the signing of the pledge to be drug free. I guess they mean “illegal” drugs, but when a significant percentage of them are on psychotropic drugs, it’s tough to take the thing seriously.

They rolled out a long chunk of red paper with some sort of pledge on it, set up a table out front in the morning, and hounded them all to sign it as they walked in. Then it was proudly pinned up on the wall in the main office for all to see.

The first time I walked by I did a double take. Did they really sneak that in without anyone noticing?

Sure enough.