For CPS student response clicker lessons and tips, head over to clickers.mrcoward.com.

Whatever it is…it ain’t working.

Posted on May 12, 2010
Filed Under Research Papers, Stories of Seventh Grade | 2 Comments

Prologue: “Nancy” (she of fraternal twin fame) announced yesterday, “They changed my medicine, and I’m supposed to be able to pay attention better now.”

Let’s see how that goes. Here on Earth.

That dreaded time of year is at hand: Research. We’re going into the library next week, and we’re trying to get topics dialed in. I make them put their topic in the form of a question, and then their thesis is their prediction for the answer to that question.  I’m trying to eliminate the dreaded “all about” paper: France, Soccer, Hitler, Cheese, Dolphins.

Anyway, we were going over the first handout today. It’s the one with all the technical requirements and length  and suchlike. It’s the only part anyone (especially parents) thinks is important. How long does it have to be? What size font? (Do I look like an idiot? Does ANYONE actually believe that the old giant-font-size trick works?) When’s the final draft due? Do we hafta have pictures?

And etc. I was at the part in my speech about the old “putting it in my own words” method of research paper writing.

“I’m betting that for you guys writing a research paper looks a lot like this… You have the encyclopedia or Wikipedia or whatever open over on this side, and over here you’re writing your paper. And the book says, ‘There was a great migration of settlers westward…’ and you write, ‘Many settlers migrated west,’ directly into your paper. You probably relied on one groovy source, so that it’s easy to do what I just did, and besides, they’re all going to say the same thing.”

Lots of sheepish looks.

“That ain’t gonna happen here. You’re going to actually take notes, and then write the paper from your notes. That other way you’re used to? That’s plagiarism. I gave three F’s for that last year, plus one more to some genius who tried to use the free sample from one of those ‘buy a paper’ web sites.”

“Whoa, how’d you catch him?”

“Duh. Why do you think I make the research paper one of the last things we do? One: I couldn’t cope with reading whatever you might have come up with back in October or whenever. I had to teach you some vocabulary and some writing savvy.  Two: Now I know what you sound like. I’m going to know it’s not you within two paragraphs. Plus: How hard is it to type a suspect sentence or two, with quotes around it, into Google? It took about 45 seconds.”

“Don’t you give this speech every year?” (Perceptive lad, that.) Why do people do that?”

“People get desperate. They were lazy throughout the process, and didn’t use the time or the help that they were given, and now it’s June 2nd and the paper’s due in two…”

(Here’s the payoff, as they used to say.)

Nancy has suddenly perked up, Earth and Planet Nancy align, and she bursts out,

“It’s June 2nd?”

(Oh, but that’s not all.)

Sheer pandemonium, because she said it in all seriousness. Only the laughter made her realize. Then from amidst the din, one motormouth genius yells,

“It’s April 11th, Nancy! Duh.”

“Umm. ‘Gary’? It’s May.”

Pandemonium II.

“I was just joking.”

Uh huh.

This is what I’m working with this year.

Posted on May 6, 2010
Filed Under Outlining, Stories of Seventh Grade | 2 Comments

29 mo’ day.  Never has that seemed so far away as this year. Here’s the sort of crowd I’m dealing with…

We’ve been practicing with outlining in preparation for (shiver) research projects. More on that later. One of the in-class activities we did involved a brief excerpt (I actually got it from the textbook!) from an article about twins. The excerpt talked about the differences between fraternal and identical twins.

I. Identical twins
A. One egg splits into 2
B. Identical genes
1. 2 girls
2. 2 boys
C. Occur once every 250 births
II. Fraternal twins
A.
1.
2.
3.
B.
C.

Their job was to fill in the second half of the outline covering the part about fraternal twins. Of course, in seventh grade, nothing is as easy as it sounds. Immediately we veered into, “I knew these twins who…” and etc. Then…

“I’m a fraternal twin!”

“Yes ‘Nancy.’ I finally realized (only about two months ago!) that your brother is one of the pains in my heinie earlier in the day. I hadn’t realized you were even related you are so different.”

Now Nancy is one of those people (in my experience they’re usually girls – sorry) who live on their own planet. The orbit of that planet  may not intersect with that of Earth very often. She’s that one who says, “What?” or “I don’t get it,” several minutes after whatever uproar there was has died back down.

So…after Nancy agrees that her twin brother is a pain, a girl next to her says that she is a fraternal twin too.

Nancy looks amazed,

“Really? You two don’t look alike at all.”

(Dang. I can’t get my blog software to format that outline correctly.)

Twits

Posted on May 4, 2010
Filed Under Random Featured Post, Stories of Seventh Grade, Teaching, Twitter | Leave a Comment

I just read a webnews headline that read: “Twitter is the New CNN.”

Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?

If Mr. Coward were to “tweet” his way through a typical day period (which is about as likely as, oh let’s see, Hell freezing over is too cliche, how about…Bill Gates going broke.)

8:21- the homies r screaming since vp said hand over your heart 4 the pledge – oh the pain! I left the door open: some poor late kid in the hall looks alarmed

8:22- I gotta put a switch on the speaker: more drivel from some underprepared kid talking 2 close 2 the mic…sounds like the bus station back in the day

8:26- blue slip. since it doesn’t say NOW, I set it next 2 the Popple…probly forget it later

8:30- finally!! “share” time is over and we can start – don’t remind me that I told Vero she could share first tomorrow about something she will have forgotten by then if we’re lucky

8:32- checking vocab hw, 1/4 not holding…”why is my grade so low?” it ain’t rocket science people

8:38- correcting warm up…let one of them try to write on the shmartboard …you can’t rest your hand on the board…you hafta stand off to the side a little d’oh the wheels are off the cart…anyway, that thing’s coming down next week

8:40- office slave bringing forgotten lunch…no chips…dang. that’s the usual transfer fee

8:41- “I have a question!”  that’s probably why you raised your hand…c’mon now…didn’t we talk about this yesterday?

8:46- I wonder why this class always seems to be behind the others.

8:48- Can we go over the vocab homework now? Thank you.

8:51- busted a little move on ‘em to demo the word sinuous. Was asked not to do that again. Not a one of ‘em will forget that word.

8:59- Raffle King sez no dice cheese slice to cheat sheets on the pretest. the other choice was no doubt rainbow trout… last week it was nyet nyet Soviet and da

9:02- vocab pretest clicking…here it comes, even after 150+ days… let’s see, there are 10 words and 13 blanks, what do you think? duh you will use some words more than once… spare me please

9:10- went over pretest, saved #7 for last because it was the one that separates the wannabes from the gonnabes (exempt that is)… crushed a few dreams with that one

9:12- Tom Sawyer reading check… no open mouth – no moochers this time– yes open book yes you can use your study questions if you did ‘em… “easy money if you read last night and listened in class when I was reading”

9:18- pretty easy to tell who read and who didn’t looking at the clicker results… avg 7.2/12.  some genius asks how somebody could get a 7.2

9:20- reading TS aloud- lotsa Huck talking today: becuz and thish yer and dono, mighty deep. I love reading Twain’s dialogue.

9:24- somebody peeking in the door-  detention crim released early from previous class… how can we be done already?

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