SBD…

Posted on February 23, 2010Filed Under Stories of Seventh Grade | Leave a Comment

Just a shortdog, because it’s getting late.

Best line heard today: The class that’s right before lunch has sort of gotten used to being let out about 30 seconds early, so I can get a jump on the lunchline. Not that I stand in line with the kids, but if the line starts getting long, I don’t want to get in the lunch ladies’ way. The ladies are used to me dropping in, spinning the keypad the kids use to enter their account number, entering my number (of course I have an account – I’ve been eating in the cafeteria for almost 17 years), and getting out of the way. This class gets a bonus, just because they’re next to lunch…

(Although that can work against them if they get a little too frisky. It also means there’s no next class to make them late to. There have been times when I’ve made them sit there while I go get my lunch and come back  – lucky for them my room is one of the closest to the cafeteria – before I let them go. Sometimes I even start in on eating before I “release the hounds…”)

Anyway, today that class assumed we were done with about a minute to go, and started for the clicker bag to put them away on their way out the door.

“Hoooold on there cowpokes. Who done told you that it was ok to git up and leave?”

So I start the old you-can-all-go-when-you’re-all-perfectly-silent-for-X-number-of-minutes thing. You know the one… Lotsa giggles and snorts and clock restarting. Through it all I see Sunny squirming in her desk. Just as we reach the 1 minute of silence mark she breaks the silence yelling,

“Can we hurry this along? I have to PEE!”

On a (sort of) related note… We have a new name for detention, a new euphemism.

SBD…

Yes, I know the common slang meaning of that abbreviation. (Grammar tip: It’s technically not an acronym unless it’s also a word, like scuba.) It’s a timeless classic. So now, instead of saying, “Join me at break,” when I lay a detention on them, I can say something like,

“Bring your gas mask.”

SBD = Supplementary Behaviorial Diagnosis

“We’re going to figure out why you’re having trouble coping… Oh excuse me, that one’s going to hurt…”

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