(Re: The title. As I tell the kids when I speak ungrammatically or in my peculiar classroom pidgin, it’s sort of like how police officers get to run red lights and speed and stuff. I get to make up words and talk however I want because I’m the grammar cop around here. Some of them actually believe me when I say that, as an English teacher, I have a license to make up words and put them in the dictionary  “the next time they get around to publishing a new one.”)

I’m going to farm most of today’s column…

Hold on. Big aside coming up: I just sort of thoughtlessly typed that last word, column. I like that. I grew up reading newspapers all the time and I loved the idea of being one of those guys like Jack Smith (LA Times) or Herb Caen (SF Chronicle) and just getting to ramble about whatever, but in a funny or unique way. Or at least in a recognizable style. But the best for me would be the fact that that was ALL YOU HAD TO DO! You could have time to think about stuff and read stuff and talk to people and have some material. You could even sleep in!

But columnists have mostly gone the way of newspapers. Except for politics I guess.

I think I might start calling this a column for a while just for fun.

Anyway, back to the point. I am going to farm out most of today’s column to Slate, the on-line magazine.  I have used articles from them before (the Vonnegut final exam comes to mind), and this one is worth reading, but as we say around here when someone wants to buck the system,  “It’s a good idea, but good luck with that.”

Remember in The Outsiders, when Pony is talking about how Johnny understands GWTW more deeply than he does, and he says that Johnny’s teachers thought he was dumb but he wasn’t, he was just slow to get into things?

That’s what this article is talking about.

“You’re not Stupid. You’re Slow.”


BTW: OMG! I saw an ad on tv the other day for a big night of boxing at our (sort of) nearby Indian casino. One of the fighters was named… take a deep breath…

Jhonny Gonzalez.

I couldn’t cope. I went to Wikipedia:

“The name “Jhonny” originated as a misspelling of “Johnny” on his birth registration form.[3][4]