I know that at least a few of you out there are fans of the Inanimate Division of my Classroom Crew. Well, we have an update for you Crewpies. (Is that too weird?)

First, Clicker Guy has a new ‘do.
He’s done with hats, he’s let his hair grow out, and he is busting an ’80s move. I know, “Let’s Get Physical, Baby.”

Teh Hawtness!

But the big news is that we have some, as the Roller Derby girls call them, fresh meat. Right before Christmas break, the home ec lady brought over another orphan from their annual Holiday Store for kids. The last one we found on our doorstep became the keeper of the Spelling Wall of Shame.

Meet Squawkers McCaw.

Squawkers is the one on the right. With the hat.  The other guy is a hat. He’s just visiting from the video/drama room. Squawkers didn’t come with a hat although he did come with a remote control and that groovy perch. A very nice girl from the afternoon class bought him the hat. Quite dapper, don’t you think?

Squawkers is one of those really annoying, light-sensor-equipped nightmares, that do stuff and talk when people walk by and “interact” with them. Real parrots are annoying enough, but sheesh.

In other words, he fits in perfectly.

He also has some pre-programmed sound bites that you activate with the remote. The only one worth keeping was, “Whatever!” Very nicely annoying. Especially if you keep pressing the button on the remote, and he keeps doing it over and over. I erased all the witty quips. He also has a song and dance mode, which I consider the nuclear option of annoyance. I kept that.

Mr. Mcaw allows you to record custom messages. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Right now, besides the stock “Whatever,” the only other things he says are “NO!” and “Quiet You!”

Another bonus: He detaches from the perch, so I can carry him around like a pirate do.

We’ll introduce you to the other two noobs tomorrow.