Survivor returns tonight, so I gotta make this quick. I’m going to  direct you to my Confession of a TVaholic post from last fall, bust out my current top ten TV shows, load the dishwasher, and hit the couch for some Jeff Probst and the over 40’s vs the 30 and unders.

I haven’t done a top ten list yet on this blog. Back when I was in junior high, we obsessed over top ten lists: TV shows (Six Million Dollah Man was number one for a whole year), movies, Sr. Enda-losing-her-temper moments, baseball players, after-school snacks, you name it, we rated it. It got to be too much work for me (Good Times or Happy Days?), and I pretty much stopped doing it by the time I was in 9th grade, but I had a friend in high school who keeps it up to this day. We call him Holt’s Almanac.

So here are my current top ten TV shows. To save time and deliberation, it is in no particular order. I’m not sure why I’m sharing, but anyway… just consider this a junk food post.

House – As I have posted before, a few students have seen a little Greg House in yours truly. I think that might be a compliment. Maybe.

Burn Notice – Micheal Weston’s mom is classic. The rest of the cast must get hazard pay for the ciggie smoke. And Fiona, well…

Survivor – When I saw a blurb in the paper more than 10 years ago about this show where you would try to survive the longest on this desert isle somewhere, I thought, I want in. Then I found out about the social aspect. Hmmm. Not so much. My family still wants me to try out. I just hate being cold.

Lie to Me – I know some of Lightman’s affectations can be a little much, but… I still dig this show.

Wipeout – My family also thinks I should go on this show. “You love to laugh at other people getting whacked in the head,” says my wife, “so you should take a little of that too. Plus we could use fifty grand.”

Simpsons – I have seen every one. Even the shorts on the old Tracy Ullman Show. I have the first 10 seasons on old-school vhs, I use “Time and Punishment” as a tie-in to “A Sound of Thunder,” and they did an episode last season about the Underground Railroad. D’oh!

Modern Family – OMG. No other show makes me laugh out loud so much. Literally, there are tears in my eyes. If there were a particular order, this would be the current #1.

Chuck – The nerdlingers at the BuyMore are beauty, as is Mr. Awesome. And every single woman who has ever appeared on the show is beautiful and knows kung-fu. Except Chuck’s sister. But that’s OK because she’s a doctor.

Rescue Me – Foul mouthed, hilarious, and plot holes you could drive a truck through. I have laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe and cursed some scenes that were so lame and cheesy using language straight out of  show itself. This most recent season is sagging some, but still…

America’s Funniest Home Videos – Before SpewTube, before anyone else, they did it best, and still do. I have watched AVF since Bob Saget was the youthful host. I have a 4 dvd set my family gave me for Fathers’ Day one year. SpewTube should be paying fat royalties to Vin di Bona Productions for the brilliant idea of letting the morons do your work for you.

So there you have it. Circle time is over, and we can move on.