After I posted yesterday about IHAQ’s, I realized that when most of my questionoholics say, “I have a question,” it really sounds like, “I’ve a question.” This pronunciation makes it yet another three-word-phrase we can add to the list of essential junior high “communication.”

If we were to write an Oxford-style dictionary of all junior high phrases, we surely wouldn’t need more than a single sheet of paper. (Most of them couldn’t even come up with a decent slang word to write a paragraph about. I had half of them write about “cool” and the rest were “sick.”) And the three-word phrase section would be most of our dictionary. Here’s the latest iteration of the list with handy translations.

1. “It’s not fair.” – Used for anything they don’t like.
2. “This is boring.” – See #1.
3. “What’s my grade?” – “I am pretending I care.”
4. “What I miss?” – See #3.

I already talked about those four classics here. ‘Nuff said.

5.  “I don’t care.” – “I really do care, but I don’t think I can do anything about it.”
6. “I don’t know.” – “I might know, but can’t admit it, because then I would face consequences.” Or, if that is not the case, “I don’t even know what the question was.”
7. “I SAW you.” – “I can’t believe you exist outside the classroom.”
8. “I hate ____.” (math, you, cauliflower, etc.) – See #1.
9.  “S’not my fault.” – “It really is my fault.”

Here’s the original post for those five.

10. “I’ve a question.” – “I really do (or did) have a question, but it might (probably) not have anything to do with what you’re talking about.”
11. “It’s at home.”  – “I didn’t do it.”
12. “Because it’s fun.”  – “Because it annoys you.”

Those last three are new additions to the canon. The “it’s at home” one has been seeing some heavy use lately. Variations on home include: at my dad’s house, in my backpack somewhere (but not really), on the moon, and ummm.

Are there any three-word phrases I’ve left out?