Tip o’ the Day

October 19, 2011
By

Our tip of the day this time is from someone we haven’t heard from in a long while. In fact it’s been almost three years since this guest artist made his first and only appearance here. Since then he’s been spending a few years down under. And I don’t mean Australia. I mean 6th grade. But now he’s seen the light of day, and by luck there was a spot open again at our site, and so he’s back torturing both 7th and 8th graders in math (my boy included–who also had “mrJ” last year for 6th grade). And I’m back to stealing tips from him.

First go read his first appearance here.

Ok. On to the tip of the day.

I know that when I have subs (sorry, they’re called guest teachers at our school), I always tell them to leave a detailed note about how things went. I also tell them to kick ass and take names, and I leave seating charts to make that easy. And I hate it when I get something like this:

“All classes were great. Thanks for a great day. Hope to be back soon.”

You are never coming back.

Well mrJ had one of those subs the other day. And he knew that his classes were not “great,” just because you just know that sometimes. mrJ also knows that middle schoolers will also rat each other out at the drop of a hat.

So. (Artist’s recreation.)

“Well the sub left a note, and he said things didn’t go as smoothly as they should have.”

“What?”

“He also said that there were three main ‘issues’ that were most of the problem.”

“What did he say they were?”

(If you remember that old “Got Milk?” ad from the early ’90s, you’ll know where this is headed.)

“Well, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to give you guys two minutes to think about your behavior yesterday. And if you can come up with the three things the sub was talking about, then I will go easy on you for being up-front, and admitting it.”

Hands start shooting up immediately. They don’t need no stinking two minutes to start pointing fingers.

“We were kind of uncooperative.”

“Hmmm. How so?”

“Well, when we were supposed to be getting out our homework, a lot of us weren’t.”

“Hmmm. Well, he didn’t say anything about that, but thanks for letting me know. What else do you have?”

“Jhonny threw a pencil, and then Jack hit him with a–”

“Interesting. But that wasn’t one of the things he mentioned.”

And so on, until they copped to each and every thing they even MIGHT have THOUGHT about doing. It must have been a beautiful thing to behold.

And then the icing on the cake. He read the note to them. This time it’s not an artist’s recreation, it’s word for word.

“Great class.”

 

One Response to Tip o’ the Day

  1. Miss K on October 20, 2011 at 9:29 am

    (tee hee Jhonny…)
    Holy Cats! I swear sometimes you are talking about our school. We also have “guest teachers.” The “guest teachers” I have known have hated that term. “After all,” one so eloquently said, “guests” aren’t usually paid. We are a substitution for the teacher who is missing.”
    You are right, you are never coming back if you tell me “Everything was great. Hope to be back soon.” As if! Uh, I know my students and their eccentricities. I’ve done the same thing, “So, why do you think the sub rated you the way he/she did?” And their guts spill…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Random Featured Post

Best Faux Pas Ever. (Glad it wasn’t me.)

(Friday Flashback – Last Year) “Mrs. G” has been teaching in our district for over 40 years. She’s been at our school since it opened in 1980. She’s taught English, art, social studies, music, and much more. She is literally an immovable object, and doesn’t need to rise from her chair to strike fear (well, not exactly fear any more, but…) into 8th graders’ hearts. She doesn’t care what people (parents, admins, other teachers) think of her, and speaks her mind whether it’s “appropriate” or not. She currently teaches 8th grade US history, and has been going toe to toe with a particularly pesky student I had last year. Now, this “Steve” sends me e-mails about how the posts he’s reading in the discussion forums on our Moodle don’t have enough thought behind them, and he has a real brain. But he’s a loud-mouthed pain in the rear, whose parents it seems, are wrapped around his finger. I was probably the only teacher he got along with…until Mrs. G. He’s still a pain, and though, like me she recognizes and likes the Steve underneath, she’s not afeared of giving what she gets. So… Food is not allowed in our classooms. [...]

more -->


Mr. Coward has been teaching on the beautiful central coast of California since 1989.

Archives

February 2012
M T W T F S S
« Jan    
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
272829  

Recent Comments

  • Kelly commented on “How cute. Like hobos…” (Also: Hank Williams.)I've just discovered your Website and it's been one laugh after another. I teach 7th grade English and we just finished The Outsiders. Now I wish I would have cranked out Hank Williams. The complaints and hysterics would have made my day.
  • Mrs. M~ commented on Rants and RavesThe no-name thing used to drive me crazy too. I finally gave up and now build in an extra minute every single time they hand in papers. As they hand them in row-by-row, I flip through them on the spot. If there is no name on the paper, I have the student
  • mrC commented on Rants and RavesThank you to all for the kind thoughts. Today was the first day in over a week where I was feeling close to being myself. And of course those pesky kids started making me all crabby again. @Mrs. M: I usually admit right up front that I ain't "on," and they'd best be wary of me
  • Meg commented on Rants and RavesI have the same problem with no name papers and it drives me nuts!!! Trust me, if there is someone out there with a good solution let me in on the secret as well.
  • mrC commented on It’s Go Time!@Sarah-Most excellent! Keep up the good work, and don't let any of them talk you out of it. Glad to hear your kids recognize the value too. Fight the good fight!
  • Mrs. M~ commented on Illin’Feel better soon! There is nothing worse than being at school and trying to be "on" when you feel like death.
  • Sarah commented on It’s Go Time!I just came across your blog...I am a second year teacher and I am currently reading The Outsiders aloud to my seventh graders. I read it to them last year, too. I catch a lot of criticism for reading it to them...but they LOVE to have me read to them. I actually had a group
  • joan commented on Illin’I'm on day two of out-with-the-crud. I needed the rest. Hope you're in tip top shape by Monday!
  • mrC commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”That one oughta be strung up like they used to do to horse thieves.
  • Heather commented on “The Sub Used One of Your Sticks!”The last sub I had left no note at all and broke the arm of my spinny chair by leaning back in it so far that he fell in the floor. The kids all said he was the best sub ever. I politely asked the school secretary to never have him sub in
  • mrC commented on The Future of Space Travel@Heather: Gawd I hate that. I think I even posted about it awhile back. @Kelli: This reminds me of high school. I went to a Jesuit high school (all boys) and for our Friday football rallies, we would import cheerleaders from other schools to be a part of the rally. And the girls would always begin
  • Heather commented on The Future of Space TravelMy eighth graders just have the habit of prefacing every question with, "I have a question." And announcing "I'm done" when they complete an assignment.
  • Kelli commented on The Future of Space TravelIs it bad that I sometimes start my stories with "Okay, so...."...? I guess the kids have rubbed off on me. Sigh.