For CPS student response clicker lessons and tips, head over to clickers.mrcoward.com.

OH NOOOOOO! (Part I)

Posted on June 14, 2010
Filed Under 8th grade, Steve Martin | 4 Comments

It’s never good news when your principal, as you’re rolling for home, says,

“Can I get 5 minutes with you tomorrow morning…(wait a beat and a half)… about a scheduling issue?”

(silently) What do you need me for? Scheduling is part of  the counselors’ job…hmmmm.

(aloud) “No worries. See you tomorrow.”

One of my favorite lines from my favorite movie, The Jerk, is when the repo guys are taking away all the furniture and such after Navin Johnson (Steve Martin) goes broke again. His wife, played by Bernadette Peters, is crying, and Navin tries to comfort her by telling her it’s just money, and they’re still in love, and etc. She says, crying,

“It’s not losing all the money…It’s losing all the STUFF!”

Well, my line at the meeting with my principal the next morning was,

“It’s not teaching the eighth grade…It’s teaching the EIGHTH GRADERS!”

Yes, after a 6 year reprieve, I will be having at least one period of eighth grade in the fall. Our incoming enrollment is down, so we have a lot more 8th graders than 7th graders next year.

D’oh.

It might actually be kind of fun; new novels to get into:

Nothing But the Truth by Avi. I lobbied to get this one in when we bought books in 2004. Right after, I went back to full-time 7th grade, so I never got a chance to bust a move on this. I can’t wait to get my hands on this one; so many possibilities.

Maus by Art Speigelman. I simply cannot make them read Anne Frank. I won’t read it again, and I have always said that I won’t teach any book I don’t like. I did this one year, and I wish I hadn’t had the student teacher take over part way through. I can’t wait to get my hands on this one again.

Call of the Wild, Jack London. I might actually try out the webquest I wrote for an online professional development  (salary scale) class a few years ago . Go Buck!

The Pigman by Paul Zindel. A little dated, but mighty groovy as I recall. I’ll have to peruse my own archives.

Plus, there are a lot more groovy short stories in the eighth grade anthology. I might actually use it. Well, a little anyway.

However…There is still the issue of having to face some of the same geniuses I am so glad to be soon rid of…

More on this soon…
Tomorrow: Message to 6th Grade.

Wish I had at least one this year…

Posted on June 9, 2010
Filed Under Rerun, Research Papers, Seventh Grade Behavior, class size | 2 Comments

No, I’m not dead yet. Though they are slowly killing me this year. I haven’t posted much lately because:

1. The kids turned in their research papers last week. I have turn-in timed every year, so that if I read about 12 per day, I finish the day before the last day. This year it’s going a bit more slowly; I think due to the dearth of original topics. It’s been like this…Global Warming, Global Warming, Titanic, Titanic, Global Warming, Holocaust, Titanic, Titanic, Titanic, Global Warming, Ufo’s, Global Warming. Repeat. I was stoked when I got “The Impact of Herbicides in the Vietnam War” and “How Realistic are Shows Like CSI?”

2. My TV died, and I’ve been trying to fix it. I don’t miss the programming so much; it’s summer, which means mostly reruns, and there’s always Hulu. But I am sorely missing my Wii Pinball Hall of Fame (Williams Edition). When I’m in Vegas in two weeks, my boy and I are going to spend a whole day at the Pinball Hall of Fame. 152 machines! Anyway, it’s a big 60 something inch monster that I think I can fix for a few bucks. Wish me luck.

3. I got an early Fathers’ Day gift; a helmet cam for my daily skate. When I’m rolling, it’s rolling. More on this one soon, along with video.

4. We got a new dog. ‘Nuff said.

So…

Some of my kids from last year stopped by yesterday to say hey, and to let my current students know how good they have it now, and to enjoy it while it lasts.

“Eighth grade is boring. I miss this class.”

“I miss you guys too.” (Believe me.)

(Current kids) “Hey what about us?”

“Oh yeah. I’ll probably miss you too, next year.” (Umm. Yeah.)

Anyway, I got to reminiscing about one of my favorite students from last year, and wishing I had a couple like her this year…to take the edge off the others.

Here’s the post from last year (we haven’t had a rerun in awhile)…

Politeness Girl

One of my classes has only 20 students. That’s right on the verge of being too small for me. I had a class one year that, through attrition and other issues, was down to 12 by February. Not a beautiful thing. One: without enough voices and ideas, discussions are very hard to get going. Instead of eliciting ideas, I have to provide too many. Two: when there are that few, they seem to get the idea that class is like some family dinner, where they can just jabber out and “share” and not bother to raise hands and such. They drive me batty. That same year I had 12, I also had a class of 34. That class was nearly silent, and the Gang of 12 required the Quiet Stick almost daily. The upside is the greatly reduced paper load. This is nothing to sneeze at, but I like 20-25 in a class better.

As I have said before, I don’t usually have a favorite class (although, now and then there is a least favorite). Most years, most classes have their own “endearing” qualities. I usually have a nickname for each period, although I never tell them their own nickname, and I make up alternate names, or use the same one for more than one, so they are always trying to guess which class I’m talking about.

“But which class is your favorite?”

“You’re all so ‘special’ I just can’t pick.”

This year I have (in no particular order): the Homies, the You’ll be the Death of Me’s, the (Out to) Lunch Bunch, the Silent Ones, and the Friendly Class. The nicknames should speak for themselves. I have to say, the Friendly Class is my fave this year. They are always happy to be there, they are supportive of each other, they really get into the characters in the books, and they’re a little sensitive. In fact, I just searched all my old posts and found that this class is the source of some of my best material. Maybe it’s because the class is 2/3 girls. Maybe it’s because they’re the class of 20.  I think mostly it’s because they have Politeness Girl.

(Not to be confused with the cartoon “super hero” Politenessman, the guy with the steel hankie.)

The best way to describe her is by quoting her. Picture a spring in her step and a smile on her face as well. Every day. Always. And every line is spoken with the most genuine sincerity. Really. (If some of these quotes look familiar, well like I said, this is the source of some of my best shtuff.)

On me announcing that henceforth, a score of less than 70% will land you in detention for a week.
“Thank you for helping us do better.”

During a discussion about Pony and Darry’s relationship in The Outsiders.
“It’s all about the love then.”

On Dally and Johnny.
“Aww that’s so sweet, he doesn’t want Johnny to be like him.”

On the new seating chart.
“I really like my new seat. Thank you. I like being in front.”

On me handing the vocabulary lists down the rows.
“Thank you so much.”

On Johnny and Pony hopping the freight to Windrixville.
“How cute, like hobos.”

Upon entering the room one day.
“Don’t I just remind you of yellow? All sunny and bright and cheerful?”

After I used another student’s name and hers for a grammar sentence (Joey knitted Maureen some nice booties for Christmas.)
“That’s so nice, thank you Joey.”

“You do realize, Maureen, that Joey didn’t really knit you booties?”

“I know, but still…that’s so sweet. Thanks Joey.”

Her answer after I asked her if she has ever been angry at anyone.
“I was mad at myself once when I did bad on a test. And I get mad when people are mean.”

To the lunch ladies.
“Everything looks so good Greta, I’ll have the salad, please. Thank you so much.”

On the bailiff ‘s wife in The Midwife’s Apprentice naming the baby Alyce delivered after her.
“Awww, that is so cute, I think Alyce would be a great mother. Thanks for picking this book.”

On rain.
“I just love the rain.”

On wind.
“Aren’t windy days just so refreshing?”

At the beginning of every period.
“Hello, how are you today?”

At the end of every period.
“Thank you.”

No, thank you.

The Five Stages of Grief (in 30 seconds)

Posted on June 1, 2010
Filed Under Seventh Grade Behavior | Leave a Comment

Middle schoolers are like drama queens with Alzheimer’s.

“ZOMG, the world’s going to end if I (don’t)…

(the next day/period) “Are you OK? You were pretty upset.”

“What?”

Every “crisis” is like a terminal illness or an impending death. Whether that crisis is personal or school related, or simply a perceived rather than actual crisis, the reaction usually follows the classic five stages of grief pattern. And most of the time, they can squeeze it all in in less than 30 seconds

(Aside: I was just reading that many researchers say that the whole stages of grief thing is a myth, that the research doesn’t prove it out. Well, that doesn’t make a very good story, now does it?)

I could take an example from almost any day, but right now we have a perfect one being played out nicely. Today was their first attempt to pass the YEE (Year End Essentials) test.

Denial.

“What? You can’t do that! You wouldn’t really flunk me, would you? I have a B-. OMG! You wouldn’t really do that would you?”

“Yes. I would. But nobody has ever flunked just because of this.I’ve given plenty of F’s, but none of them was just because of this.  Of course, there’s always a first time.”

“Nooooo!”

Anger.

“It’s not fair!” (Always the fall-back position.)

“And your point is? I’m trying to help make sure you’re not one of those morons on the street that Jay Leno makes fun of for being so ignorant.”

Bargaining.

“C’mon. We’ll be good for the rest of the year.”

“Yes, you will. But that’s going to happen anyway.”

“What if we all get an A on the test Friday?”

“That would be nice, although highly unlikely. And it wouldn’t change anything.”

“Please?! Can’t we just get 90% instead of 100? Can’t we do it in parts? Can’t we…?”

They sound like Eckels at the end of  ”A Sound of Thunder.”

Depression.

“I’m gonna flunk this. I just know it. I’ll be the first one ever.”

“Stop. You’ll be fine. You get 10 tries.”

“I’ll probably need 11.”

“Actually one guy did need 11 one year.”

“I’ll probably need 12. My dad’s gonna kill me.”

“That seems a little harsh.”

(Back in teacher school, they used to call this raising their level of anxiety.)

Acceptance.

“Fine. WHATever.”

Now, the model says that people may mix up the order, or move back and forth between stages. Nobody does that like middle schoolers. Like this:

Anger.

“It’s not fair.”

Depression.

“I’m gonna flunk this.”

Anger.

“It’s not fair.”

Repeat above 2-5X.

Acceptance.

“I think I did OK.”

Denial.

“I thought I did better than that! My clicker juked me!”

Anger.

“It’s not fair!”

Bargaining.

Can I do extra credit?”

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