One of my standard lines I use when I get frustrated with the “I’m confused’s” and the I’ve-only-said-this-10-times-already’s is, “I thought mankind was supposed to be evolving, where each generation gets smarter than the previous one. We seem to be DE-volving around here.” A gold star if you recognize the Devo reference. Of course, the standard response is, “What?” Where was I headed with this again? Oh yes… If I were to play crabby old guy (one of my favorite roles) for awhile and complain about the youth of today, my biggest complaint would be the lack of imagination. It’s a generation of imitators. I hesitate sometimes to show too many good examples–as opposed to the bad ones I publicly rip apart–because I end up with so many knock-offs of the examples. And this relates to the topic at hand how, might you ask? Well, when I actually had a few minutes the other day for the off-topic q/a session, I was again disappointed by the dearth of good questions. It was all… “What’s your favorite color?” (Really?) “Which is your favorite class” (You’re all my “special” class.) “If you could be any animal you wanted…” (Again, really?) “What would
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I know it’s been a while since I posted. I even have a little backlog of material. I just haven’t had a lot of time for blogging lately because I … well… I… It’s time to confess what I’ve been doing. In the past year or so, I have developed a new hobby that I have gotten a little obsessed with. I think the wife would say that I am a step or two or three past the obsession stage actually, and she says she regrets being the one that started me down this road. Speaking of road, I even drove (well, rode in my friend/enabler’s truck) all the way to Oxnard to feed the obsession. That’s a 4 hour round trip, not counting the In-n-Out stop. That’s more driving than I do in a year unless I go to Vegas or something. (Aside: Those of you who live anywhere but California, Texas, or Vegas and really like burgers, need to make a pilgrimage.) It was this trip to Oxnard that has kept me busy for the past week or so. My wife is also a seventh grader with a badge, and so for the past week I have been
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I don’t remember whether I mentioned it here or not, but I was told at the beginning of the year that my STICK had generated a parent call of concern, and that I was advised not to wield said stick in front of the kids any more. “Some kids say they’re intimidated,” was the line I got. That’s sort of the point, ain’t it? Oh well. Anyway, no stick this year. I have a foam Lego sword in the interim, until certain easily intimidated students have passed on to the high school. It doesn’t make nearly as much noise, but it looks pretty cool. One of the kids even gave me a shield that matches. That’s the short version of the backstory for today’s post. Onward. Today, I was heading in the back door of the cafeteria kitchen to hunt for breakfast (scone and oj), when one of the lunch ladies flagged me down. “Can I ask you a question?” “Answering questions is what I do.” “Didn’t you used to walk with a cane? You’re doing so well now.” hahahahahahaha I had to explain to her that, while I may have paid some homage to Greg House and his cane
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D’oh. Too much skating and too many naps make Jack a dull boy, it would seem. And by Jack I mean me. First day back for us after a blissful two weeks, and everybody in Homie Base has lots to share. It heartens me that so few of the stories were mere bragging about gifts. Back in my day it was all about the loot, I hate to say, and comparing your haul to your siblings’ and friends’ piles. This year only one really talked about the stuff, and it wasn’t to brag, really. “Ok, so… My favorite thing in the whole world is gummi vitamins, and so my parents got this me giant, giant jar of gummi vitamins for Christmas, and–” “You know you really shouldn’t eat more than a couple of those per day, because they can be tox–” “…I ate almost the whole thing at once and got really sick, and they thought they might have to pump my stomach, but I grossed out at that, so they didn’t, and so… yeah. But I still really love gummi vitamins.” Of course I wasn’t the only one wondering why they had to be the vitamin kind, but she insisted “they
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I took a fall skating on Tuesday, landing on my forearm, jamming my pointy elbow into my rib-cage at 10 mph. In chapter four of The Outsiders, Dally says he cracked a couple of ribs and just needed a place to lay over, after Tim Shepard and he tangled. Then five days later he rescues Jhonny (Thanks for reminding me, Mrs. M!) by yanking him out of a window, and the next night he is throwing and absorbing punches in a rumble. As we used to say back in the day… Yeah right. Twenty-five years ago, I got kicked in the same place while playing softball. I “cracked a couple of ribs.” Please note: 1. Usually when someone says he cracked ribs, they’re usually just bruised. 2. It takes 4-6 weeks to heal, bruised or cracked. 3. It huuuuuuurts to breathe, lift stuff, roll over in bed, etc. It feels like a steel band crushing your chest. 4. Rumbling? Fuggeddaboutit! 5. I done bruised ‘em good this time. So I suddenly don’t have “the voice.” It hurts too much to expel that much air. My “STOP! NOW!” in the halls, which usually works like the Hammer of Thor, is a shadow of its former self. The stopping power ain’t what
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First off: Ok, Ok. I’m starting to find my happy place with research. Thank you for the comments and suggestions; I think next year will be better. You guys gave me some good ideas. We’re working on outlines this week, prepping for research. Among other activities, I give them partially completed outlines and word banks to fill them in with. I strategically place a few clues in the outline, and they have to determine the hierarchy of the various entries I provide, and fill in the blanks. Like this (the stats are kinda dated, but it’s a topic near to my heart): Topic: The automobile has become the American Nightmare kills 265,000 and injures millions annually, road rage and reckless driving have increased, better city design to decrease auto dependence, leading source of air pollution, alternatives to the automobile, main means of transportation, too many people dependent on the car, large SUV’s: rollovers and danger to smaller cars, more cars and more roads mean more traffic congestion, average car: 5 tons of carbon dioxide each year, contributes to acid rain and smog, leading cause of death and injury, new dangers with 2 recent developments, public transportation I. Main means of [...]
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