Time out. I just have to tell this story. Sorry, it’s about our dog. I’m sure I could find a way to connect it to teaching and all, but really, I just have to share this one. Backstory: We got our current dog from the Humane Society about two years ago. Since he’s, you know, a dog, I can use his real name: Cosmo. He came named that way, and yes, it’s after the famed one-trick Seinfeld character. He’s a Jack Russell and MinPin mix (we think), and weighs in at a sleek 17 pounds or so. Late last summer, the boy volunteered for a week at the shelter and was put in charge of a dog named Kramer. Uh huh. Jack Russell mix, but leaning more toward the wire-haired side. No, it doesn’t just happen in movies… they were brothers. They were brought in together. So of course every says we HAVE to get Kramer too. Great. Two dogs. I’m in… I guess. But the shelter won’t let us just waltz off with him just because they’re brohans. There has to be a supervised meet and greet in one of the pens at the shelter. Fine. OMG. It was
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I haven’t taken off three days of instruction since I don’t know when. Sure, I did bolt for three days once (also to Vegas...for the boy’s fourth birthday) while the kids were in the library “researching.” That time I figured that between the sub, the librarian, and her hard-a**ed (in a good way) aide, things would be fine. I mean, help them find books, show them how to do a search or two, do some shushing, go one-on-one with a few to get them taking notes without copying; how hard could it be to cope without me and the stick for three days? I never heard the end of it. They were not on task, and the guest teacher wasn’t any help, and some of them still didn’t know what their topics were, and…” Welcome to my world. Anyway, this time the sub had to do some actual teaching. We’re just getting started on Tom Sawyer (thank goodness for the wiki/Moodle), and we’re getting mighty close (two more weeks! and then two weeks!) to spring break, so I can’t afford to “roll a movie” or whatever. The routine must be maintained. I was gone Monday through Wednesday, and I needed them ready for
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I’m supposed to be getting ready for my trip to Vegas. My dad is turning 75, and he’s taking his four sons to Vegas. (Yes, I know; my poor mom.) We’re going to a place that lets you operate those big excavators for a few hours, and dig holes and drive around and such. I’m picturing some jousting, with the buckets clanging. We’re also going to drive go-karts that go very fast and go to the Pinball Hall of Fame. It’s going to be a blast, but I’m missing the first three days of next week, and as you all know, it’s much harder to be gone than it is to be there. And three days? I’ve been lagging on everything (like reading Giver projects and Perfect Papers) trying to write everything down and remember every little bit of THE ROUTINE. Warm ups in order for three days? Keys so even the gluiest sub can walk them through it? Explaining how to check homework and books and vocabulary exemptions? LCD projector and computer? Clickers? Keeping the servant busy for three days? Reading Tom Sawyer with them? I’m a little discombobulated. OMG…what about the video class? (I’m locking up the expensive cameras
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I’ve been one of the walking dead for the past several days (it feels like a hangover–or, ahem, so I’m told– with a cough). I finally called in for a sub this morning. I forgot that practically every math teacher in the district was supposed to be at their version of our “benchmark scoring day.” The difference with the math people is that they were required to come; ours was voluntary. So. It seems every sub in the district was out. My boy tells me that his class had a different sub than the other classes which means that they were covering my classes with the other subs’ preps. D’oh. I used to hate doing that when I was a sub. The boy said his was 10 minutes late, and they were stuck outside the door, milling around. Which, as you know, seventh graders don’t do quietly. Another teacher shushed them a bit until the sub showed up…without a key. I looked online, and roll got taken in only three classes. Double d’oh. Anyway, I have spent almost every moment not at school asleep (yes, even on my bike to and from), so I only have enough energy right now
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…even new ones. See you tomorrow. (Guess I coulda’ used Twitter for something like that, huh? Or Springface.)
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This afternoon, I asked my friend and colleague, in his experiences with junior high, how many times he could remember seeing two seventh grade boys hugging. Sincerely. “Like a man-hug, or a real one?” “What’s a man hug?” “You know, you start out with the soul shake, and then you pull in and sorta bump chests, and then the other hand sorta slaps the back.” “Not that kind.” “Ummm. None.” “I knew it. It was a first for me too!” Milk and Cheese, the “True That” boys, were at it again. They were moving their desks closer together (again), like they like to do, and jabbering nonsense. Nothing major, and technically it was before class, but I said, “Well the quarter does end Friday, and I change up the seating chart every quarter, so next week I get to move you guys far, far apart.” One of our recent vocabulary words was crestfallen. I should have taken a picture of them to use as an example. Milk holds out both arms pleadingly (and it if it wasn’t sincere, he should be an actor) and says, “But…But…But… What about The Team?” OMG. The class is dying. Half of them are happy [...]
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That reminds me of those great SNL skits about the Sofa King. You know, how the prices are "Sofa King" low, the deals are "Sofa King" great, etc. (You obviously have to say those phrases out loud to get the joke.)